Grief is hard. It just is. Learning to live without the person you love makes life really difficult. We don’t often know how it will look or what it will be like. We also don’t want to find out. The unknown, the upcoming can be frightening and overwhelming. When life seems to turn everything upside down and there isn’t a right side up any longer, what do you do? Where do you go? What’s next?
The answer may surprise you…nothing. Nothing is what is next. Sure, you have things to do. There are still details to deal with. There are papers to sign and things to file. Your loved one’s clothes are probably still in the closet. You need to eat and take care of yourself. But what’s next is up to you…and it can be nothing for today. In other words, you do not need to worry about how tomorrow looks. You do not need to stress out about how you will make it without your loved one. You do not need to focus on how you will move forward in your life. You do not need to think about any of that. When you are dealing with grief, you simply need to be. You do not need to measure yourself against someone else that has lost someone. You do not need to worry about those people who tell you how long it will take to get over someone. You do not need to listen to those who want to overwhelm you with advice on where to go and what to do. You are not required to do any of it. You are grieving and that is, in itself, enough. Nothing else is required. You can free yourself from the normal chores. Just simply be. You need to grieve in your way and in your time.
There is no magic prescription that will alleviate the pain. There is no timeline that is guaranteed to make things better. Things will not return to their previous normal. Your life is forever changed. And yet, the sun will rise tomorrow. You will figure your way through the maze. You will find your way through the journey of grief. There are many people who can walk with you. There are friends and family who can support you. There are groups to help you realize you are not alone. But ultimately, this is your journey. The next step and the future ahead will be at your time and your pace. So be gentle on yourself. Today is enough. It is okay to just grieve today.
There is something I do want you to hear as you begin to travel your grief journey…You are not alone. I say this often because we forget. We get caught up and it seems so lonely. But you are not alone. You have support. You are loved. Beyond all of this (and most importantly), God is with you. The One who created you, gave you life and breath, and watches over you has not left you. And he is not about to leave you now. You can rest in his presence. You don’t need to do anything for his love. He offers it because you are his child. You do not have be presentable in his presence, he knows your heart. He loves you as you are and will not leave you in your time of greatest need.
I pray today that you feel his presence. I pray you are wrapped tight in his love. And I pray that you know that he will not leave you. Be gentle, be loved, and just be. Today’s grief is enough.