Category: Journey Blog

Does it really matter?  At the heart of it all, does it REALLY matter?

As I consider the work and acts of Jesus, I can’t find where it matters to him.  I look, I search, I ponder and I still cannot come up with anything.  For the life of me, I cannot find where it matters to him.  In fact, it seems to be the opposite…he really doesn’t seem to care AT ALL.  And if Jesus doesn’t care…if I am really reading this correctly, then I can’t imagine why Christians care.  If we wear the title…if we walk among those that claim it…if we sit among those that struggle with it…if we, in fact, carry the name of Jesus in any way, shape or form, then, can it matter?  Am I missing something?

When I read the stories of Jesus, when I really take a few moments to open the Bible and plunge head first into the stories, it just doesn’t seem to matter to him.  Let me tell you what I see as I swim deep in the waters:  Jesus went out of his way to meet the people that no one seemed to care about.  As he approached the ten lepers, they could not have looked well…they have a horrifying skin disease after all.  They were likely deformed and difficult to see – likely a bit shocking.  They probably had no actual clothing to speak of (I can’t imagine what would have been okay to wear with a devastating skin disease that would eat away at their lives).  Yet, Jesus sees them, hears them, heals them.  One of them isn’t even “like” him – that one was a Samaritan.  That one…still healed, still loved, still offered new life.  Yep – Jesus saw him.  As I think about the blind beggar that Jesus hears and calls to him, I can almost see and smell him as he appears.  This person was likely unclean, unkept, and was noticed before he was approached – he was a beggar after all…he could not have had any valuables by the other’s standards, he begged for everything he had…he could not have been “presentable” to be in the presence of Jesus, he couldn’t even see Jesus…YET, Jesus doesn’t care about any of that.  Jesus loves him, he heals him, he answers his request.  He is given new life.  I feel like I am sitting next to the man staring at the water…where he has been sitting for so many years, with this disease…this disabling disease that has reeked havoc on his life for 38 years.  He had sat in this very spot for all of those years with nothing – nothing to show for it, nothing to help, no one to care…he was depressed, hopeless, distressed – you can feel that he has given up on life.  He likely had no possessions other than his mat, why would he need them?  He was destitute sitting by a body of water just waiting for his turn to be healed…and it had not happened in all of those years.  Jesus saw him, offered him hope like he could have never imagined, gave him a new life…and did it just as he was, unconditionally.

What do I notice about these few stories (note that there are so many more)?  I notice that Jesus does NOT ask them to get themselves together before coming to him.  I notice that Jesus does NOT lecture them on the mistakes they made to get there, if any.  He does NOT quiz them on their past and the sins they may have committed or shun them for being in their present state.  I notice Jesus does NOT ask them if they will follow him with a set of responsibilities in order to be healed.  I can’t help but think that Jesus didn’t ask them to do anything because he knew them and he loved them – just as they were.  They were welcomed in his presence no matter what they looked like or what they did.  They were and are his children, after all.

As I read it, do you know what mattered to Jesus about these people?  Nothing.  He didn’t seem to care about the color of their skin, their ethnic background, how many times they had been to the synagogue, if they had gone through the Jewish rituals as a child, who their parents were, how they got there, what they had done right or wrong, or whether they were worthy.  He didn’t care if they smelled good or had nice clothes or had any offering or could speak his language.  He didn’t care if they knew when to sit or stand in church or if they had ever heard the opening of a scroll.  He didn’t ask them how they got there or what they would do after meeting him.  He simply loved them as they were…and people were changed by HIM.

Maybe THIS is the key to being the church…Maybe our response as the church is that it simply doesn’t matter – just come – Jesus is waiting with open, loving arms…we want you to meet him.

(image from Pinterest)

Be is struggling.  He has been wondering where God is in his life.  Over the last few weeks, he has searched for what is next.  It wasn’t long ago that he lost his job.  His marriage ended a year ago because he spent more time working than he did taking care of his wife.  She took the kids and although it hurt, it allowed him to focus on work…it was, after all, where he found his purpose and where he felt he mattered.  Now all is lost.  It is all gone.  He has money in the bank and he will be fine financially.  There are other prospects.  His position being eliminated did not stop him from having other places to go work. But it did remind him that he was not nearly as important as he thought he was.  He is not nearly as valuable as he conceived in his mind.  Here he is…no family, no job, no purpose.  And so today, he decides to step into a sanctuary.  It really wasn’t intentional.  It came as an idea in the middle of the night.

Be grew up going to church as a child.  He knew the Bible stories.  He remembered the power of stepping into the sanctuary, a Holy place.  He wanted that feeling again.  It had been too many years, but what other option did he have?  And what could it hurt…to just step in one more time…to wade in the waters?  So, he enters the church…

It is interesting that Be is not considering the coffee or donuts, although they may be an added bonus.  He isn’t thinking about who is there or what the demographic of the church might be.  He doesn’t care if there are fresh flowers on the altar or if the carpet is purple.  Be wants to be in the presence of God.  He has had enough of the world and its disappointments.  He has struggled enough with stress and competition.  He walked into the sanctuary to be with God.

Here is what Be doesn’t care about…he doesn’t care what the average attendance is for the church…he doesn’t care how this church compares to the church down the street (he could have gone there if he wanted, but he didn’t)…he doesn’t care about who doesn’t like who or who doesn’t get along with someone else…he doesn’t want to hear gossip and he doesn’t want to be asked why he is there…he doesn’t want to feel like a stranger but knows he doesn’t quite fit in yet.

What Be cares about…is God there.  Yep, that’s it.  He could give to his favorite cause without coming into the church.  He could have socialized with neighbors without ever stepping foot in the sanctuary.  He could have heard about the comparison in churches by sitting at the diner on Sunday after church.  All else fades away when one is welcomed into the presence of the Almighty.  He simply wants to meet God.  What would Be find in our churches today?

From the last post (Step One-Retake), there are two important points I want to reiterate.  I think these are important for us if we are going to ever discover what it might look like for us to truly mean…we welcome all. The first of those points is that it begins with us…you and me.  It would be easy to sit around and theorize about what “the church” might do or how “they” aren’t getting it right or what “those people” fail to see.  It would likely make us feel better to talk about how others are the problem in the church becoming open to all.  It is always like that…easier to point out the faults of others.  But if anything is ever going to change, it begins with me.  That is one of the reasons I wanted to do this blog series.  I want to dig deep on how Brad might change…and pray that in the process you do the same…that you seek what might need to change about you. But, my concern is with me.  I can only change me…and if I begin to change, things around me begin to change.  I only have control of me…and that really is more than enough. 

Second, I believe that fear is a big factor in what can hold us back…from being welcoming and loving…to anything else you might imagine.  Fear can stop us in our tracks…and sometimes we need to be stopped.  But at other times, fear comes on irrationally. We don’t really take the time to consider why we are afraid.  What is it about this person that makes me uncomfortable?  What is it deep within me that makes me have some level of comfort with people like me?  To fear what we do not understand is natural but doesn’t mean it is right or we should just accept it.  If we fear what we do not understand, that should lead us to gain understanding…to grow in our knowledge of different cultures and backgrounds.

If I am uncomfortable sitting next to someone that is not like me, then that says to me I need to know more about others…different people groups and cultures.  To dig a little deeper still…I want to look at how this might show up based on my experiences and what I have heard others express – note: this is hypothetical and not a real experience. 

I am sitting in church on Sunday.  All is as normal.  I am sitting in the same spot I have sat in since the day I arrived in the church, or close to it.  I am not opposed to moving seats, it is just that my friends sit near me and I feel at home where I am.  It is more out of habit than necessity.  This particular Sunday, a new couple come sit next to me.  They seem nice and I introduce myself.  I notice they have sat in the place where the Jones family normally sits.  They aren’t dressed quite like everyone else and they don’t look like everyone else.  I can hear them speak to each other and they are not speaking English.  What might be my thoughts?

First, they have thrown off my normal vibe because now the Jones family will have to sit somewhere else. That is awkward, and I like having the Jones family near me.  And, I may wonder if they speak English well and why they would have chosen this church to come to…surely there are churches in ‘their’ language.  In the current political environment, I may wonder if they are here legally, even though that has nothing to do with them sitting in a house of worship.  And, I may wonder if they have an agenda for being here…what do they want? 

 All those feelings are fear based in some way, shape or form.  I don’t want my normal way of worship to be interrupted.  I like the Jones family sitting with me and I don’t want to open myself up to anyone else because it takes effort and I don’t know them.  I am worried about their language because I don’t know the language…and it is different.  It really isn’t that they speak 2 or more languages…it is that I barely speak 1.  I want them to speak English because English is what I know.  I want to know if they are here legally because somehow if they are, it makes me feel better about things…Even though it really doesn’t matter their status in the country…because in worship, we are called Children of God…we are of the same family.  And just because they are different doesn’t mean that they have any agenda except to come to a place of worship to…I don’t know…WORSHIP. 

But you know what might change all this?  If I knew a family or a few families just like this couple…If I had spent time with people from their culture and understood more about that.  That would likely change me.  Let me explain how.

If I spent time with people in the culture of this couple, I would understand what it meant to be welcoming…not overbearing, but hospitable.  I would make sure that they knew that there was a place for them here and that they were loved…not in a sentimental way, but in a sincere, Jesus way.  I would understand a bit about their language and maybe even know enough to provide some broken speech encouragement…another way to say I care and I’m trying.  I wouldn’t care why they were here but would make sure they knew this was a place they were accepted, just as they are.  I could do this because I would know people who were like them…and I would find that they are not so different from me.  I would realize that they are people just like me deep down…people that want to be loved and accepted and welcomed.  I would find that they have families and lives and seek to become a part of something bigger than themselves…yep, just like me.  I would find that they are not “them” but one of us…not that they need to act like me or dress like me or talk like me, but that they have the capacity to love just like me…because of Jesus.  I might just see them…like Jesus does.  And suddenly, I’m not so fearful anymore.

What might it take for you to get to know a family from a different culture or background?

Not too long ago, Wendy and I decided to take a selfie to show our support for a cause. Now, neither of us are really good at taking pictures, much less pictures of ourselves. I am not sure exactly how many it took…and we were never satisfied with any of them…but we ultimately decided on one. The decision was more out of exhaustion than satisfaction. Thankfully we didn’t have to go with the first one, though.

There are many times in life when I wish I had a retake…a re-do…a “let me try that one more time and no one know about the other times I failed” We might not have said what we said in the way we said it…we might not have done what we did…we might have acted differently if we had thought it through…

And that is what this journey is all about. What might it look like… We don’t always get it right but if we don’t dig deep into what we are doing, will we ever get it right? If we don’t examine where we are…if we are not critical about how we do what we do…if we don’t really take the time to see why we do what we do and why we don’t do other things…if we don’t truly seek what is in our hearts and our intentions…then nothing will ever change. And our goal is not to change other people…but to change ourselves…for nothing is ever different if we just point fingers at others and never look in the mirror. This journey is about taking a difficult look at who we are and who we are not. It is about seeking God and finding him in the most unexpected places and most unexpected people. It is about getting out of our “we’ve always done it that way” mindset to see why we do it that way. It is ultimately about being more like Christ.

So, what how might that first step look differently? In Blog 2 (the first step), I talked about how difficult it is to take the first step…and how taking the first step, even when I am “like” everyone else there, is still uncomfortable…and why we don’t want anyone to break our natural rhythms… But what if we had a re-take? What if we try again…what changes do I need to make in order for this to change? What needs to change in BRAD? How can we begin to change the landscape of our worship and open our hearts to become welcoming?

In the first step retake…I look deep into my heart and ask myself why I feel the way that I do about others. Rather than asking people to meet my standards, what might it look like to live by the standards Jesus set…you know, the love God, love others part? Why do we feel the need to point out visitors and why is it that we only want to sit next to people ‘like us’? What are we missing or what is our hindrance to truly become welcoming? In my own evaluation…there is an underlying fear. It really comes down to fear. If things are not as they have always been…if there are people not like me…if things don’t flow like I want them to…then what? And that is scary… I’ll continue to look at this fear as we journey.

What is holding you back? What is it that is deep within? If you had the opportunity for a retake, what would change for you?

Disclaimer of the day: I want to reiterate that this journey is not about the church I serve or any I have served or been a part. This is about a journey I am on, not just as a minister, but as a follower of Jesus. I want to dig deeper into what it might look like to truly be welcoming…and I want to change. I am grateful for those that are on this journey with me…to seek how we all might change…and to begin to see things differently. I am not asking for everyone to agree with me or to think like me. I am asking for you to honestly evaluate you. May we grow together.

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” – Lao Tzu

One single step…It seems so easy, yet is often the most difficult step of all…the first. For me, this is true on any journey. If I can just take the first step, the others feel natural and more free, not easy but unhindered. I think of what it must take for someone to take a step into a house of worship for the first time. I consider what that might feel like…what it smells like…how it either welcomes or rejects…and how the people at the worship service feel about a stranger entering the doors.

As “church people” we would never think that strangers are a problem…visitors are welcome, we say. We put on our signs that all are welcome. Sometimes, there is coffee and maybe even pastries. There may be banners and welcome packs. A kind greeter may approach you at the door. A bulletin could provide some guidance as to what will happen. From the moment a stranger pulls in the parking lot, we try to make it inviting… Yet, if we are really honest with ourselves, all too often, what we really mean when we proclaim ‘All are Welcome’ is that we welcome the stranger that looks like us…that believes like us…that votes like us…that smells like us…that lives like us… In other words, we want to worship with us. And there is a built-in dynamic in a church that has a bunch of “us” already in it.

When we worship the same, believe the same, vote the same, talk the same, dress the same…anyone that is outside of that throws off the dynamic…brings an air of change and no one likes change…especially not in church. “We’ve done it like this since…” So, we essentially tell the stranger…you are welcome IF… and that if is a big one. It is likely that if the stranger is not like us, we will want the stranger to conform to become just like us. I mean…we set the standard…right?! It is, after all, OUR church…right?! Essentially…we don’t actually mean ALL are welcome…at least not as you are…unless…

The first step is always difficult. I have had the opportunity to walk into many houses of worship in my life…different denominations, different towns, different faiths. I grew up in church and I know “the rules” and in many cases, I was “one of them” as I entered. Yet, the first step was difficult. I am naturally an introvert, so it takes a lot for me to step into a church I have never been. I remember one occasion I was out of town and decided to go to a church of a denomination of which I was familiar. The church was full…everyone was nice…but then the pastor did it…he pointed out the visitors and had us stand up and tell where we were from… This sounds exciting to some people…I am a minister (no one knew that there) and I should have been comfortable (I completely was not)…That made my first step even worse. I didn’t want to be called out in front of a church full of people…and I was ‘like’ everyone else.

I write this to just point out that I AM like those that were in the church and YET I was uncomfortable… What about those that are ‘strangers’ – those that are different – REALLY DIFFERENT? Are they welcome too?

Feel free to leave comments on this blog and share it with others…as a reminder, any form of hate will be eliminated.  This is the first step in searching and trying to figure this all out… What does a church look like that really does mean…ALL are welcome?  Travel this journey with me…YOU ARE WELCOME (and NO, I don’t care what you believe, what you look like, how much you make or how you vote)

“What might it look like…”  It is a question that both challenges and scares me.  I am excited and hesitant to ask…to explore…to find out more…to learn and to grow.  Yet, to ask the question pushes my limits and the limits of those I come in contact with on a regular basis.  It all began a few months ago…

Wendy returned from a short term mission trip.  She was sharing with me some of the activities she had participated and helped to facilitate.  I was intrigued.  For the first time that I can remember in her sharing about a mission, I thought about what I may be missing in my own life as a follower of Jesus.  I thought of what I am missing as a worshiper of God.  I considered what I wasn’t understanding as a part of a community of faith.  And then it hit me.  The question hit me hard.  So I asked Wendy the question… “What might the church look like if we really meant ‘All Are Welcome’?” What does that even mean and and what does THAT church look like…the all really are welcome type of church?  I have pondered and meditated…I have asked and interviewed…I have struggled and prayed.

In the meantime, I have been pushed outside of my normal comfort zone…seeking what it may mean to reach those around me in need…trying desperately to hear what God is trying to teach me…anxiously awaiting what the next step in this journey may look like.  Today, it seems another piece of the puzzle potentially came together.  I was talking with my friend Joy and mentioned this question to her…and her immediate response was – you should write a blog series about this.  I thought it was an interesting idea but wasn’t sure what that might look like or what purpose it might serve.  But the more I have considered it, the more I am intrigued.  So, I am moving forward.

In the next few weeks, I will explore what this means to me…how I see it…what I think I have been missing and what I see others may be missing.  Each week, I hope you will consider, ask questions, and wrestle with this alongside of me…joining me on the journey.  I hope this series will expand our minds, hearts, and bodies to become more.  I pray this challenges and pushes in new ways to love like never before.

As a disclaimer, I am a minister and this is not written about the church I serve nor any church I have served or have been a part.  This is written about church…the community of believers as I have experienced in the rural South.  This is not to put anyone down or vilify any person or group.  If in the comments, there are words of hate or any hint at that, those comments will be deleted.  This is to encourage, challenge and move us, as God’s people, forward.

I don’t know how or where this will take us…but I hope you will join me on the journey…YOU ARE WELCOME…