SEEING THE EXTRAORDINARY

Category: Fear

  • The Power

    It’s almost as if the earth shakes beneath me.  The whole room moves for just a moment, but long enough to get my attention.  There is no denying the power, it is electric.  As we approach summer, the hot and humid weather ushers in thunderstorms.  Most any day can be interrupted by the rush of a storm.  Today is no different.  Yet, today, it feels as if the thunder is erupting from where I sit.  The rumble, followed by a series of hard rain showers,  reminds me of the power our earth holds.  Circumstances change in an instant.  

    Our life can change in an instant, too.  One moment, it seems as if everything is moving along so well.  The next moment, a storm of difficulties seem to wash away all of our plans.  The rumble of disruptions can derail us.  What felt like a great plan falls apart way quicker than it took to compose it.  What do we do when the power of the storm seems to overwhelm us?  How do we adjust to the unpredictability of life?  

    Today, I’m thankful for shelter – a strong roof and a solid foundation which protects me, in some way, from the harshness of the storm.  In life, we have those shelters, too.  We have our faith, which reminds us of how we are never alone and just how much we are loved.  Our faith shows us we are children of God and despite the storms, we are held by almighty arms which will never let us go.  This is a strong foundation.  This is the peace which allows us to sit through the rumble of the thunder without fear.  This is the comfort that even when all else collapses, we are held.  

    My prayer is today you feel the protection from the storm, even when it floods your plans.  I pray you feel the comfort of arms extended wide, even when an embrace seems so unlikely.  I pray you feel the peace despite the turmoil which rages all around you.  And I pray you hear your privileged name, Child of the Most High God.  May it begin with me.  Amen. 

  • Forgiveness To Follow

    Making mistakes, speaking before thinking, jumping the gun, and reckless abandonment are all his attributes. He was far from perfect, actually he was pleasantly imperfect.  He seemed to enjoy life and when he was in, he was all in.  So when he fell, he fell hard.  ‘Go big or go home’ seemed to be his life motto.  But he was also the one you wanted around if you were struggling.  He seemed to know what to do to help.  He was that kind of friend.   And this time, he has been hurt.  He let his fears get the best of him.  It was irrational, he knew it as soon as it happened.  It wasn’t part of his character, anyone who knew him would know this.  Regardless, here he was, trapped in his own despair, understanding the mistakes made and wondering if redemption was even possible anymore.  All he once knew had been pulled out from under him and he was left trying to catch himself.  He just wanted to be free – free of the guilt and shame, free of the despair, free of the fear, free of the chaos.  He simply wanted to be free.  So he did what many of us might do when he found himself in a difficult spot, a place where there seemed to be no resolve, he went fishing.  It was in his blood.  The water was his resolve.  He could clear his mind and focus when he was in the middle of the water simply waiting.  He wasn’t alone – good friends know when company is needed.  Fishing seemed like a good first step in a situation which felt more like a whirlwind of grief, despair, with an all too dim glimmer of hope.  It was all so confusing.  Maybe the water would have the answers.  

    Most, if not all of us, have been there.  We thought things were going great.  We felt good about our path.  We were on the right road.  Then, out of nowhere, it all fell apart.  Everything we knew collapsed.  Life as we knew it simply exploded into unrecognizable pieces, scattered as far as our eyes could see.  It’s a frightening place to be.  We long for something familiar, something to take our mind off the things which cause such despair.  We just want things to return to normal, so we seek some sense of normalcy in a place where our hope and faith is wavering, maybe now more than ever.  We cling to the things which hold familiarity and cause us to have some sense of control, even when we actually have none.  We look for solutions as we cry out to God.  

    This is the place I feel Peter has found himself in this scripture.  Jesus, his best friend, teacher, faith guide, and Messiah has abandoned him.  Jesus called him out of the ordinary and to the extraordinary and wow, had it been a ride.  He saw demons flee, dead men rise, lame people walk, blind people see.  He watched Jesus out-smart those who were in control, over and over again.  It was crazy but it was also very peaceful.  Jesus’ presence had made all the difference.  He had given him everything and just being with him made everything better.  It felt as though they could conquer the world – until they didn’t.  Peter was ready to fight for Jesus, only to have Jesus tell him this wasn’t the right way to fight – no swords allowed.  What do you do when your only weapons are not physical?  You run, that’s what happens.  You run for your life and take out anything in your path.  It was the most frightening time ever.  And you run so far that you forget the destruction you leave in your path – denials and such.  At least that’s what Peter did.  It all came apart so quickly.  And now, Jesus is back, sort of.  All of it doesn’t seem to make sense just yet – this here but not just yet.  And what does Jesus think of all this running Peter did?  Surely he knew.  Peter knew and that made all the difference.  So, he went fishing.  

    John 21:1-19

    It wasn’t really about the fish, was it?  Peter wasn’t really fishing to feed his family that day.  He just needed the familiar, something he could hold on to.  He needed to find his place one more time.  So the fact nothing was caught wasn’t necessarily a problem, probably just an annoyance – fishermen who can’t catch fish seems about right for where they are in life at that moment.  And Jesus did what Jesus does – he begins to turn it all around.  Fish appear, John proclaims it is Jesus on the shore, Peter swims ahead of the group.  The others had to be thinking – it would have been nice of Peter to help with the fish.  But they also likely weren’t surprised, this is Peter.  

    There is breakfast – Jesus made them breakfast.  Jesus spent a lot of time around a table, sharing meals with so many others.  He ate with the most despised and avoided.  He gathered around wedding tables and preparation for death tables.  He ate with friends and enemies alike.  He shared bread with those who were willing to sell him for a price.  And he loved immensely around those tables.  This breakfast would have been no different.  There are fish and bread and most of all, fellowship and love.  The table – whether a plot of sand around a fire or an actual structure in a home – was a place where stories are shared.  I don’t know this, but I am guessing Peter probably did a little more listening at this table than usual.  What did he have to say?  They had abandoned Jesus but Peter ran with full force in the other direction.  Peter had denied him.

    And Jesus continues to do what Jesus always does – he begins to heal Peter.  He begins by asking him of his love – it isn’t that Jesus doesn’t know how much Peter loves him.  It is more that Peter doesn’t know how much he loves Jesus.  And so the questioning isn’t to convince Jesus but rather Peter.  It is a part of the healing process.  It is forgiveness.  Jesus’ love doesn’t change.  It doesn’t fail.  It is perfect in every way.  It is our love that seems so fragile and situational.  It is our love which is often so flimsy and flippant.  Jesus restores Peter because he isn’t done with him yet.  Peter’s sins, his flaws, his fears, do not stop Jesus from loving him and calling him.  Jesus’ love isn’t dependent on us.  He loves us despite ourselves.  And this is what forgiveness looks like.  It looks like restoration, redemption, and healing.  It looks like Peter being called to follow, one more time. 

    We can feel so broken, so unworthy.  We can beat ourselves up for things not said or too much being spoken.  We can give up on ourselves, knowing we are not the disciples we are called to be – it’s too hard, there are too many things going on, our lives feel in utter chaos.  We may run to the safety of what we know.  But that urge, that deep longing to follow, will remain.  We can’t run far enough to escape God’s love – the Psalmist reminds us of that over and over.  There is no where we go where God is not.  We haven’t run too far or become too hopeless.  Our situation does not define us and neither do our mistakes.  We are not useless or abandoned. We are God’s.  And he isn’t done with us yet.  

    Despite what our situation may tell us or the lies in our minds may feed us, we are not too far gone.  We are a child of the King.  We are God’s beloved.  We are made for good things and called according to his purpose. We may look like are nothing more than a hot mess, but God doesn’t see what we see.  He knows our heart and our longing.  And just like with Peter, he restores us and calls us to follow.  Follow me – he says to us even when we feel like we have let him down.  Follow me – he calls when feel unworthy.  Follow me – when everything else has collapsed.  Follow me. 

    What restoration and healing do you need today?  Where have you run so far only to find there really isn’t any place to go?  How have you felt unworthy?  God is not done with you.  He sees something in you that is beautiful and treasured.  He sees good where you see flaws.  God knows you and he calls you to follow.  What will your answer be?

    Peter followed all the way to death – may we do the same.  

  • Breathe On Me

    A message for the Sunday after Easter –

    Easter Sunday was the kickoff – the beginning of an exciting time.  We should still be in the mode of celebration – the excitement of Easter – the reminder of how Jesus has arisen.  We have been invited to see the empty tomb and walk with the disciples as they ran directly to the place where Jesus’ body once occupied.  We had the opportunity to tell the good news that Jesus is not dead, but is alive.  These are all exciting revelations of how God has conquered death and the grave!  It is life changing.  But for the disciples and Jesus’ closest followers, it also brought fear.  It wasn’t as if the following days were filled with big meals and confetti.  They didn’t run through the streets shouting – I told you he was the Messiah!  

    Actually, it seems to be quite the opposite.  There is confusion and dismay.  The disciples lock themselves in a room in fear.  They are trapped between the teachings of Jesus and the future.  They don’t know what to do next or where to go.  Their lives are out of sorts and this in-between stage is more than difficult.  It is terrifying.  So they sit and wait – for what, they are not sure.  Where do they go now?  Who are they?  Jesus was dead – they witnessed it.  Jesus was put to death because of the things he proclaimed, which they also believe.  Jesus was hung on a cross for being the person they loved.  He arose from the dead but there aren’t instructions for this.  This is unprecedented, unknown territory.  They don’t know what to do with this or where to go from here.  So they re-group, in fear.  And as he promised, Jesus shows up.  This isn’t the end, after all, this is just the beginning.

    John 20:19-31

    There are a couple of things I want to get out of the way before we get too far in this scripture.  First, we don’t want to misunderstand what is being said.  We read how they, the disciples, were fearful of the Jews.  They are not fearful of all Jews – they are, after all, Jews themselves.  This isn’t a time for hating Jews (and there, by the way, is never a time for hating Jews) – these are their people.  They have family and friends – they have loved ones who are Jewish – they have neighbors and those they eat with on a regular basis whom they adore- that are Jewish.  They are not fearful of the Jews in general.  The Jews are not the enemy as we might pick up at first glance.  They are afraid of the leadership – those in charge – those who are given the position of power to enforce what they consider to be the rules to keep things the same.  They are afraid of those who seek to hold onto the control they most value – those who want control more than they want love.  They are fearful because the One they have followed all this time – the One they have been associated with has been killed – and surely they would be the next target.  If the leadership wants to eliminate a problem – they would be among the problem.  So they are scared for their safety because those in charge of the church do not have a place for them any longer – they are not welcome here anymore.  Jews are not the problem – those in power who thrive on control are the problem.  

    Second, Thomas gets a bad rap in this Scripture.  We have dubbed him to be doubting Thomas.  That’s really an unfair assessment.  If we really look at what is going on, Thomas is the only one missing out of the first encounter in the locked room.  They are all terrified.  They are all wondering what in the world is going on.  They are all doubting.  There is a general fear which permeates the entire room.  When Jesus shows up the first time, he shows them his hands and his side.  They do not have to ask or wonder.  Jesus shows them.  Now, Jesus doesn’t just do things for the sake of doing them.  He would show them his hands and his side because he knew they needed to see to believe.  He understood their confusion and their general mode of disbelief.  He went ahead and showed them what they wanted to see.  They had seen the evidence.  Thomas wasn’t there – so all he knows is what has been told to him.  And let’s be honest, Jesus overcoming death and the grave wouldn’t have been easy to comprehend – remember, we know the end of the story.  He was living in the moment.  He knew Jesus had died.  He knew the body was missing.  This is all the obvious.  Now the disciples are trying to tell him that Jesus is alive, scars and all.  

    If we are honest, we would have likely thought they were crazy too.  I mean, they are locked in a room for fear but Jesus appears in a locked room?  You can see how this conversation would be challenging.  Thomas just happens to be the one who wasn’t there to see the first time.  He isn’t the only one who needed to see – he was the only one who didn’t have the opportunity the first time.  And notice – there is a whole week delay in him seeing.  He goes a whole week without getting the chance to see Jesus as everyone else has.  He isn’t the doubting one.  They were all doubting.  They all were scared.  Every single person had their lives turned upside down and they are struggling to understand it all.  Thomas is not unique.  He just happens to have been absent at the first chance to see the hands and side.

    Ok – now that we have that out of the way, I want to look at one of the most beautiful gifts of this scripture.  Because we can get hung up in the fear and the doubting, we may miss what is actually going on here.  Jesus appears in his new resurrected body in the locked room of the disciples.  What Jesus says and does is most important.  Follow him in the scripture.  Don’t miss his actions.  Let’s look at the gifts that are given at Jesus’ appearance:

    -Jesus speaks peace.  We have recorded at least 3 times Jesus tells them – Peace Be With You.  Why is that important?  Jesus speaks peace where there is none.  If they were peaceful, he wouldn’t need to speak peace to them.  If they were filled with peace, this would be redundant.  Jesus’ words speak to their situation.  He speaks peace because they are so at a loss.  He speaks peace because they have found themselves in turmoil and confusion.  Jesus speaks peace to them because he is the peace they so desire and truly need.  Jesus brings peace to their challenged and hurt souls.  He speaks peace over his people with the love of one who was willing to give his life for them – even though they do not yet fully understand all this.  

    Peace is the most powerful gift when all we sense is fear and confusion and turmoil.  Peace can soothe the wounds of those damaged by hatred and anger.  Peace can heal the brokenness.  The peace of Christ can change everything in our otherwise chaotic lives.  Peace be with you.

    -Jesus breathes on them.  Now, this may not sound like such a big deal at first glance. Breath is something we take for granted until we struggle for it.  To breathe is something that happens automatically for most of us.  Until someone challenges us to stop and take a deep breath, we can easily just forget the value of breathing.  A breath can calm us.  But this breath changed everything.  This was not any ordinary breath.  This was the breath of God.  What happens when God breathes?  Life happens when God breathes.  To remind us of this, I want to go back to the beginning – you know, the ‘in the beginning’ stuff we see at the start of creation.  

    Genesis 2:4-7.

    God himself created, formed, shaped humanity – and breathed his own breath into us so that we might have life.  God’s breath is our life.  From the beginning, God’s breath has meant and brought life to the lifeless.  And here we are again.  

    Jesus speaks peace to them and then….and then he breathes on them.  God breathed on them once again.  What did he bring?  He brought new life through the Holy Spirit.  He brought forgiveness.  He brought love.  He brought peace and comfort.  His breath brought exactly what he had promised all along.  He told them earlier that the comforter, the helper would come.  He promised them the gift of the One who would lead them and bring them peace.  He promised to live within them.  And here he is, breathing new life into their weary, fearful souls one more time.  Life was really just beginning for those first disciples.  And God’s been breathing life into his children ever since.  

    Do you know what that means, beloved?  Do you understand what this means for us, followers of Christ?  It means we have been given life, new life through the breath of God.  We have been given peace in our most fearful situations.  We have been offered more than we could ever understand.  We are given breath so that we might have life – and have life more abundantly.  

    May a fresh wind of God’s amazing love bring you peace and life today.  May God breathe new life into you and your situation.  May you understand the enormity of his love, even in a small way, so that you might go from here and live.  Breathe on me, breath of God.

  • Dip Your Toe In

    This is the day…this is the day that it will happen…this is the day that no one expects but everyone has been looking for.  THIS is the day. 

    One of the first things I do when I visit the beach – after wrestling with the chairs, putting up the umbrella, and sitting down in complete exhaustion just to arrive – after all that – I go to the water.  The first time is just to feel the water.  I want to know how cold it is.  I am not one to just jump right in.  I like to know what I am dealing with.  So I dip my toe in the water.  It helps me know if I am going to put my whole foot in and eventually swim.  But first, it is just a toe.  It is my test. And I know I am not alone.  I see other people do it too.  We want to know.  If the water is too cold, I turn around and head back to the chair until I am overheated and the cold water is refreshing.  But I don’t want to step any further if it doesn’t feel good.  I don’t trust others with the temperature, either.  Children have a very different temperature gauge.  They can jump into freezing water and claim it feels wonderful – shivering and all.  I don’t let them guide me in the water.  I want to test it for myself.

    Today’s scripture pushes me to dip my toe in – but then jump in with everything else – regardless of the temperature.  The storms may come up, the winds may be fierce, and it may be high tide, but I am challenged to dip my toe in anyway…and then submerge my whole body.  It seems like a challenging, fearful proposal.  And I can’t even imagine how the children of Israel felt.  But this is the day – God tells Joshua – this is the day.  It is time.  The hardheaded folks I love so much need to know.  And today is the day, Joshua.  And it will take dipping your toe in and emerging a changed people on the other side.

    Joshua 3:7-17

    3:7 The LORD said to Joshua, “This day I will begin to exalt you in the sight of all Israel, so that they may know that I will be with you as I was with Moses.

    3:8 You are the one who shall command the priests who bear the ark of the covenant, ‘When you come to the edge of the waters of the Jordan, you shall stand still in the Jordan.’”

    3:9 Joshua then said to the Israelites, “Draw near and hear the words of the LORD your God.”

    3:10 Joshua said, “By this you shall know that among you is the living God who without fail will drive out from before you the Canaanites, Hittites, Hivites, Perizzites, Girgashites, Amorites, and Jebusites:

    3:11 the ark of the covenant of the Lord of all the earth is going to pass before you into the Jordan.

    3:12 So now select twelve men from the tribes of Israel, one from each tribe.

    3:13 When the soles of the feet of the priests who bear the ark of the LORD, the Lord of all the earth, rest in the waters of the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan flowing from above shall be cut off; they shall stand in a single heap.”

    3:14 When the people set out from their tents to cross over the Jordan, the priests bearing the ark of the covenant were in front of the people.

    3:15 Now the Jordan overflows all its banks throughout the time of harvest. So when those who bore the ark had come to the Jordan, and the feet of the priests bearing the ark were dipped in the edge of the water,

    3:16 the waters flowing from above stood still, rising up in a single heap far off at Adam, the city that is beside Zarethan, while those flowing toward the sea of the Arabah, the Dead Sea, were wholly cut off. Then the people crossed over opposite Jericho.

    3:17 While all Israel were crossing over on dry ground, the priests who bore the ark of the covenant of the LORD stood on dry ground in the middle of the Jordan, until the entire nation finished crossing over the Jordan.

    TODAY is the day to dip your toe in.  Today they will know.  Today is the day, Joshua.  It was a challenge.  It would take courage.  But God was with them.  God tells Joshua that it is time for the children of Israel to understand that he is with Joshua like he was with Moses.  First – that’s huge.  Moses was called from the burning bush.  He had led the people out of slavery.  He had held up his rod at the Red Sea watching the people cross.  They had been given the Ten Commandments because Moses went to God and got them – not once but twice.  Moses spent time with God and absolutely glowed.  He struck rocks and produced water.  God had been with Moses in miraculous ways.  And here was Joshua – who had been with Moses through it all.  But now he was the leader.  And God would be with him too.  

    It was time to cross the Jordan – by God’s timing, not by the people’s.  This was NOT the time to cross if you are looking at the Jordan.  It is harvest time.  It is the time when the Jordan floods.  The higher the water, the more torrential.  This is a serious and dangerous time.  There are times to cross – but this is not one of them.  This is the time when you find another way.  There has to be a better way.  There is fear in the air as they stand before the waters – people can smell it.  I can only imagine some of that is the fear of Joshua.  If this all goes wrong, this is going to be really bad.  There will be no recovering from this.  People will not survive this.  Their fate is staring them in the face as they see the flood waters.  And Joshua tells them to move forward.  

    But he doesn’t do it without God.  God has instructed him.  God is with him.  The people have a visual reminder that God is there.  There is the Ark of the Covenant going before them.  This is a powerful presence of God at all times.  The Israelites didn’t play with this – it was serious.  People died from handling this improperly.  So this is no joke.  Only the priests carry it.  And they go out front.  They lead the people at Joshua’s command.  And they are the first to dip their toe in the water.  They are the first to risk their lives.  They are the first to see what could happen.  And yet, they dip their toe in the water.  When they do this – and only when they do this – does the water part.  It stops.  It is halted.  The ground beneath is dry and open and ready as the priests march forward.  They are standing on holy ground, dry ground, the ground of a flooded Jordan River.  They are standing in the middle of trouble, protected by the presence of God.  

    And then the people have to cross.  Every single one of them make the trip on that holy ground.   Each one had to consider if they would make it.  Just because the person in front of them did didn’t guarantee they would be successful.  Can you imagine the waters on both sides, flooded, interrupted, and waiting to be forced back into place?  And yet, they stepped in – until they all crossed.  They made it.  They would emerge for the other side changed.

    It wasn’t Joshua who made the difference.  Joshua was a man led by God.  But Joshua wasn’t perfect – any more than Moses or Miriam or any other person.  Joshua was simply being led by God.  It wasn’t the priests who changed everything.  Yes, they had to go first.  Sure, they had to dip their toe in first.  They had to be the most frightened.  But they weren’t always the most holy.  They didn’t always get it.  They messed up too.  Just think about the first – Aaron.  He helped the people build the golden calf.  And then we get to Eli’s sons – now they were a hot mess to say the least.  The priests were not the difference.  They were human just like everyone else.  They just had this particular calling.  The people weren’t especially great either.  They spent much of their time questioning God and demanding stuff of him – as if he wasn’t the Creator of the entire world.  They were unruly, whiny, and needy – much like us today.  So they were not the difference.

    What made the difference was not the toes of those who dared enter – but God who had created those toes. God was with them.  God had commanded this.  God had created this.  He had created the Jordan and he had created them.  He knew them and still loved them.  And they were called to trust in HIM – not them.  So when they dipped their toes in the water, it wasn’t in allegiance to anyone but God.  And they moved forward on that frightening dry ground because of their powerful God. 

    It seems to me that too many times, we want to dip our toe into the water, but turn around because we are scared.  Maybe it is because we have mistakenly given our allegiance to anyone other than God.  Maybe it is because we don’t see how the waters could possibly part because no human can do it.  So we rest in our chairs and find ourselves comfortable not being challenged to move forward in faithful trust of God.  It is easier to trust in people than it is in God – because God will lead you through the waters.  People will give us a chair.  

    Do you want to dip your toe in the water?  I sure do!  As we go through the next days, weeks, months – whatever is ahead – be careful.  Don’t listen to those who tell you the water is too dangerous.  It may just be time to dip your toe in – God’s there.  And that’s all that really matters anyway.  We will emerged changed.

  • God is with us

    Right now, for many, these are lonely times.  There is lack of physical interaction.  It is for a really good reason, but we were made for community.  So it makes it extra difficult to find our way when our view of community has changed so drastically and at such a rapid pace.  What most of us imagined as a few weeks of change has become a version of new normality.  Lunch with friends is not so easy to plan.  Vacations are revamped, if happening at all.  It can feel like we have been swallowed up in the chaos of it all.  Air hugs and distance fist bumps just aren’t the same.  But it is where we are.  So what do we do when times feel so lonely and everyone feels so distant?  What happens when we look around and see despair?

    Elijah found himself in a really challenging place in his life.  Our struggles do not compare to his, except to say that God’s Word for him can really ring true to us in our situation.  I think the life that God speaks to Elijah also bring us life if we listen…if we truly hear.

    To give you a brief background, Elijah was a mighty prophet for God.  He was willing to do what God had told him.  He had stood before 450 prophets of Baal, confident in the work that God could do.  God had shown up, in a miraculous way.  He had been strong, he had been faithful, he had conquered his fears and God had honored that.  Baal had been defeated and the prophets had been destroyed.  God was triumphant…and that was the side that Elijah was on – it is always helpful to be on the winning side.  That would mean he would be willing to go up against anyone or anything…why not?  God had shown up once, surely God would show up again.  But Elijah found himself in a place of despair…fearfulness…loneliness…helplessness.  Elijah felt abandoned even despite all that had just happened.  And it wasn’t because Elijah lacked faith.  It wasn’t because Elijah was a wimp or he wasn’t being used by God.  Elijah found himself here even with his strong faith.  Sometimes we find ourselves here and it isn’t our faith that is lacking either.

    1 Kings 19:9-18
    19:9 At that place he came to a cave, and spent the night there. Then the word of the LORD came to him, saying, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
    19:10 He answered, “I have been very zealous for the LORD, the God of hosts; for the Israelites have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword. I alone am left, and they are seeking my life, to take it away.”
    19:11 He said, “Go out and stand on the mountain before the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.” Now there was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake;
    19:12 and after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence.
    19:13 When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. Then there came a voice to him that said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
    19:14 He answered, “I have been very zealous for the LORD, the God of hosts; for the Israelites have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword. I alone am left, and they are seeking my life, to take it away.”
    19:15 Then the LORD said to him, “Go, return on your way to the wilderness of Damascus; when you arrive, you shall anoint Hazael as king over Aram.
    19:16 Also you shall anoint Jehu son of Nimshi as king over Israel; and you shall anoint Elisha son of Shaphat of Abel-meholah as prophet in your place.
    19:17 Whoever escapes from the sword of Hazael, Jehu shall kill; and whoever escapes from the sword of Jehu, Elisha shall kill.
    19:18 Yet I will leave seven thousand in Israel, all the knees that have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him.”

    What are you doing here, Elijah?  Remember, God doesn’t ask questions because he doesn’t know.  It isn’t as if God has no clue what Elijah is doing.  He knows.  But he needs to hear why Elijah thinks he is there.  What does Elijah think of his situation?   How is he processing what is going on around him?  And Elijah repeats his perspective, twice.  This was how he felt.  This is where he was.  This was his view of his life and he was being destroyed by it.  We hear his plea, his cry, his heartfelt fear. This was where he was.

    Elijah felt alone.  He felt as though all was against him and he was left alone.  God provided him with an encounter.  He provided him with answers in the silence.  He showed him majestic wonders.  He moved him, literally with the elements.  He spoke to him as he sat.  He spoke to his situation, right where he was.

    We might think that this would do it for Elijah.  We might think this would be the renewal he needed, the boost to continue to move forward.  We might would imagine this would lift his spirits so he would be ready to face anything ahead.  But it wasn’t.  Even after his encounter with God, he still felt all alone.  That did not change him like you might would think it would.  God does not give up on him, though.  He does not leave him alone in his despair.  This speaks to God’s compassion for Elijah.  He doesn’t berate him for not being comforted.  He doesn’t tell him he is on his own now.  He doesn’t scold him or tell him to stop his complaining.  God doesn’t give up on him and I love this.

    He, instead, lets him know that there is support, there are others, God has not abandoned him nor the others.  His mission is not complete.  There are others that are in the same situation.  There is a community.  This is not the end for Elijah or the Israelites.  I hear God tell Elijah to pick up your head and see your tribe.  Lift your eyes to the hills, that is where your help comes from.  Lift up your heart, for God has provided all you need.  This is not the end, you are not alone.

    It is not easy to hear you are not alone when you feel so alone.  Even when circumstances tell you differently…even when God tells you differently.  It can be challenging when you feel pressed to continue going.  So many times, we can find ourselves just wanting to hide out.  We feel alone.  This scripture reminds us that God is not only with us, he provides those along the journey to accompany us.  We may not realize it.  We may not easily see them.  But God provides others.

    I believe that God reminds us that he is with us.  What does it mean to have God with you?  It means that no matter what you face in life, he does not abandon you.  It means that when you feel like you can’t go on, he helps to nurture you and bring you along.  It means that when you can’t take another step, he provides rest and renewal so you can continue the journey.

    I also believe that God tells us to lift up our heads, there are sights we have missed.  Lift up our eyes to the hills, God’s help is here.  Lift up our hearts, we have others with us on this journey.  You are not alone because there are others that travel this journey too.  You have a tribe.  You have people that love and support you on this difficult road.  You do not face this alone.  Look up, my friends, your tribe awaits.  Your tribe can consist of family and friends…people you haven’t even had a chance to meet yet.  It can be your church and your community.  Your tribe also consists of professionals that help you along the way.  Sometimes when we feel all alone, we need help that mental health can offer.  There is no shame in that – only grace.  God has given women and men gifts to help guide and direct us to a better mental place.  It often is that prayer and faith lead us to these gifted people that can help us with therapy and medication.  And there is nothing wrong with that…actually there is so much right with it.

    Today, church, know that you are not alone.  Whether you are hearing this on your phone, your computer, or in person…you are not alone.  Whether you are hearing this alone or with someone else, you are not alone.  God is with us.  God will not leave us.  We are not abandoned.  Lift up your heads, church.  Lift us your eyes, friends.  Lift up your hearts – for God has provided what you need.  May God be with us all as we seek him and find those with us on this journey.

    Amen.

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  • Not Out for the Count

    I don’t know about you – but during times like these, I feel a little beat up.  The continual talk of sickness…the constant fighting and bickering…the judging and pointing fingers…arguing about who is right and who is wrong…it all just becomes overwhelming.  It is a bit depressing and it is hard to escape.  It seems that during these times our faith gets a bit beat up too.  We are not in worship as a community of believers together currently.  We are not serving together.  We are not working through scriptures in person.  Even when it is in person, it is distanced and masked.  It is so different.  And we may wonder how long we can take this.  We feel a little knocked down.  The good news is that we are not out for the count.  We may get beat up a little but we can come out stronger from all of this.  We can survive.  We are built for the struggle.  You are made to be a survivor.  You have been given what you need to hold on and to grow stronger, even in the middle of the challenges.  This is not the end.

    Ephesians 2:1-10

    You were dead through the trespasses and sins 2 in which you once lived, following the course of this world, following the ruler of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work among those who are disobedient. 3 All of us once lived among them in the passions of our flesh, following the desires of flesh and senses, and we were by nature children of wrath, like everyone else. 4 But God, who is rich in mercy, out of the great love with which he loved us 5 even when we were dead through our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ —by grace you have been saved— 6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the ages to come he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God— 9 not the result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are what he has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand to be our way of life.

    You have been created for this.  You have been redeemed for this.  You have been set free for times like this.  You are not alone in the battle.  This is not the end.  Your faith may be beat up but it will not fail you.  And all of this is true because we have a Creator that loves us.  The letter to the Ephesians tells us that there has been a time when we were defeated.  There have been times when we were out for the count and out of the battle.  There have been times when it was all over.  But not any longer.  That is not our current situation.  That is not where we are today.  If you are a follower of Christ, you are not there any longer.  There is so much more.

    When we were redeemed and set free, God did so out of his great love.  Think about that…God’s great love for you is given freely.  It is not because of who you are – but because of who he is.  God has so much love to offer his creation – yep, that’s you – that he offers a new life and we are not held back any longer.  What once would have held us down now will lift us up.  What once would have been our defeat now is our victory.  It is through love that this is even offered – now that is powerful love that changes things.

    Because of this love, we are offered grace.  This is the unearned gift of God.  We do not receive grace because we did enough good things.  We receive because we are loved that much.  Since we cannot earn it, we cannot brag about all the things we have done.  God did it.  God is still doing it.  God is the creator and author of it all.  It also means that you didn’t do too many bad things to be loved.  You are not beyond help.  You are not a person that is too far gone.  You are loved.

    What the news does not tell you…what the virus cannot relay to you…what we often fail to understand is that God is bigger than all of this.  When our faith is being beat up on every side, God has not left us to fight alone. When all is out of sorts and there seems to be no end, God is still working.  Thankfully things are not dependent on me…thankfully grace is free and is not a result of me…thankfully God’s love is so powerful it is can conquer even my fears and doubts.

    The key in all of this is God.  God’s great love for you and his grace offered to you is the focus here.  Some of you feel so beat up that you don’t know if you have a place.  Some of you are so defeated that you wonder how God could ever love you.  Some of you feel so overwhelmed that you haven’t heard from God and  you don’t know that you ever will.  I get it.  You know God is love but you don’t feel his love.  You know God is strong but you feel so weak.  You know God is conqueror but all you see is destruction.  I get it.  You don’t feel worthy.  I hear you.

    God is not done with you.  God…is…not…done…with…you.  He hears your cries.  He sees your distress.  He understands your pain.  He knows the struggles.  He feels your fears.  He knows what it takes to face each new day.  And his grace is not measured by your faith.  It is measured by his love.  Grace is freely given.

    Today, your greatest accomplishment may be to simply rest in him.  Rest in God’s promises that you are not alone.  Rest in his love understanding that because you didn’t earn it, you don’t have to work for it.  Rest in the joys of knowing that God is not asleep.  Rest in the peace that when the world is in an uproar, God is not.  There will be days for moving forward…maybe today is your day to rest.

    I am grateful that God created me to follow him.  I am grateful he has called me his own.  I am grateful that his grace is not based on my faith.  I am grateful to be his beloved.  The good news…you are his beloved too.  You have been created to be his.  You have been created to be loved with this powerful love.  You have been created for good.  You have been set free to be redeemed.  It is not because of what you have or have not done…this is a gift of God.

    Know what your role in all of this is?  Your role is to follow.  God calls, you answer, you follow.  He takes care of all the rest.  Simply follow the One that has a path for you more beautiful than you could ever dream.  Follow the One who created an incredible life and loves you because you are his own.  Follow the One who knows your heart, feels your struggles, and offers rest.  Follow the One who has good things prepared, just for you.  You are loved that much – and so much more than you could ever imagine.  Follow.

    It really is that simple and yet that powerful.  Today, you may feel beat up, but today does not define the fight.  Today is simply one day.  The fight is not over.  Grace wins.  Love conquers.  Hope appears.  And we are given new life when we follow…Follow God into a beautifully challenging tomorrow.

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  • Grounding in the Chaos

    Things sure have changed a lot in a short amount of time.  Our secure, comfortable schedules have been displaced and torn to shreds.  The rhythm of our days has become a page of staccatos without the usual flow of the masterpiece.  What we have always relied on has been altered and changed.  And let’s be honest, some of us handle it better than others.  Some are angry at everything…waiting anxiously to lash out at anything that shows up.  Some of us appear a bit lost…wandering around aimlessly trying to find a sense of direction.  And some of us are simply trying to adjust to the new rhythm, trying to find a new sense of normalcy in a chaotic piece of art.  It is scary and enlightning all at the same time.  Every time we think we have this new rhythm down pat, the whole piece changes and we are required to re-adjust.  And some of us are not great at the re-adjustment.  Our world is different and we are not okay with it.  So we might blame anyone we can and yell at anyone who will listen.  We may even find ourselves lost in the mess of it all.

    This isn’t the first time the world has changed in the blink of an eye.  It has been happening since the beginning.  There have been uproars and wars.  There have been times of peace and contentment.  There have been times when things are going well and all seems to be in place.  And there are times when many worried there would never be peace again.  This isn’t the first time.

    I have been thinking about the Israelites in all of this.  What we are encountering is nothing compared to their struggles.  They were slaves in a land that was not their own.  God sees and hears them.  But that meant they had to leave their homes in the middle of the night and run…and keep running.  They kept running until they reached…the wilderness.  That’s right…not the Promised Land they would have liked to have seen.  They reached wilderness – vast dryness and nothingness.  They were there with no food, no water and little supplies.  They reached the end of their lives.  And in their honesty, they found a longing for their days in captivity…at least they knew what was expected there.  Here, everything was unexpected and variable.  They didn’t know about their next meal.  They didn’t know what they would do or where they would go.  They didn’t understand that God was working to rescue them.  All they knew was this place wasn’t what they thought and they just wanted to go back.  Only…they couldn’t.  They had come too far now.  And they were scared.

    What did God do to help them in their fears?  What did he do to show them that this was not the end?  He provided for them.  They were given food and water.  They had tents for shelter.  Their basic needs were cared for.  They were not left alone.  God saw them.  He heard them.  He was in the process of providing rescue.  Along with providing for them, he gave them a visible sign of his presence.  God let them know that he was with them always.  There was a cloud…there was fire…God was there.  They only had to look around them to see that he had not left them.

    And then God gave them a new rhythm.  He gave them something to hold onto.  He gave them something that they could grasp and know he was in this.  It wasn’t what they expected, I am sure.  It wouldn’t be what we would expect either.  But it was God’s response to their human need.  He got that they needed direction and guidance.  He provided the 10 commandments.

    Now before you roll your eyes and dismiss what I am going to say…stay with me.  We have come to view the 10 commandments as an archaic set of rules that should be made into statues or monuments, but not so much followed.  We have viewed them as a list of do nots and a way for punishment.  They are not often seen as God’s answer to the needs of his people.  He gives them these commandments as a guide to help them in their dismay.  They have lost their way.  They do not know which way to turn.  They are looking for stable ground.  When wilderness is all you see, you need direction.  And this was his answer for his people in their time of great need.  It was not for their harm or a way to keep them under control.  This was a gift of protection and love.  This was a reminder that in their great distress, God had not left them.  These words were meant to help them when they didn’t know what else to do.

    So if we read them in a different light, we might hear something different.

    We have the commandments recorded in Exodus 20.  I want to focus only on the first few of the commandments this morning because it is the basis for the rest.  If you get these, the remainder seems to fall into place.  And it seems to me that the first is the first for a really good reason.  I do encourage you to go back and read the remainder.  They all have something powerful to teach us.

    Exodus 20:1-6

    20 Then God spoke all these words:

    2 I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery; 3 you shall have no other gods before me.

    4 You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me, 6 but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments.

    I hear…God brought you here and he hasn’t left you.  I hear that God has brought us here and God has not left us.  This may not be a place we would have picked but this is not the end.  We may only see wilderness, but this is not the end.  God is God and we are not.  And he expects and commands us to keep him first.  To keep him first in all things is the guide.  There should not be competition between God and other things in our lives.  God is first and stays that way.  When we are lost, he is our grounding.  When we are scared, he is our security.  When we feel empty, he takes care of our needs.  His presence is with us…just look around.  While our world is changing, God is not.  He is with us.

    If God is with us, whom do we fear?  Why are we so angry if God is our guide?  Why are so filled with rage if the God of love is our salvation?  Why do we hold so tight to our things on this earth if our treasures are not here anyway?  Why do we fight to have things our way if what we really want is God’s way?

    We are told that God did not give us a spirit of fear…but instead a spirit of power and love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).  We are given a spirit of love.  That doesn’t leave room for our selfishness.  It doesn’t leave room for our desire to have things our way.  It does give us reason to look at things quite differently.  What would it all look like if we lived in love?  How might it look differently if we found our solid foundation in the commandments to guide us?  We might just find that we are wrong on some things.  We might find some of our fears are not justified.  We might see that those fighting for justice are onto something.  We might realize that God is working and it is a matter of opening our hearts and minds.  We might find a different rhythm and it might be freeing.  It may be a masterpiece God is preparing.  Can you feel it?

    May we find grounding in the commandments…and may they be the guide for our lives in times like these.

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  • Enough

    When is enough really enough?  When do we call out in loud exclamations of ENOUGH!?  How many people have to die at the hands of those who feel superior because of the color of their skin or the location of their upbringing or their sexuality?  When do we, as the church, stand up and proclaim the way of Jesus – which doesn’t look anything like any of this!?  When do we really make movements to show this is not okay?  Are we waiting for a time that it affects us?  Are we waiting for a time when we feel threatened?  Are we simply passing the buck because it isn’t our homes that are terrorized?

    As a white male, I am aware of white privilege and those heavily influenced by white supremacy.  I am aware that I am looked at differently because of the color of my skin and being a heterosexual male.  I understand that I pastor a mostly white church that operates as a white church in an area where the majority of the population is not white.  I get that I have the freedom to move about without worry because I was born here.  As someone that exercises outside, I am aware that I can run or bike in pretty much any area without being looked at as suspicious for the color of my skin.  I am even more aware of these privileges when I consider what is happening on a regular basis in this country and even perpetuated by key leadership that look like me.

    So why mention this as a white heterosexual male minister with privilege in a worship service on a Sunday that is Mother’s Day in the middle of a pandemic, no less?  Why not?  When does it become a good time?  When is it appropriate?  Many non-white churches and places of worship have been speaking of this for years and years.  How many people have to die before it is a good time for the church to call this out?  How much has to happen before enough really is enough for the predominately white church?  What has to happen before white people call out our privilege and begin to work towards a different world?  And I speak of non-white because it is the African American community – but it is also the community that is non-white or different – Hispanic, Jewish, LGBTQ, Muslim and more.

    Sure, the conversation is uncomfortable, terrifying at times, and quite difficult.  I can hear people speaking right now…Pastor Brad – you know I am not racist.  If everyone that says they are not racist weren’t actually racist, we wouldn’t need to have the conversation.  What if racism is so built into our society and into our churches…white privilege so ingrained in our lives…that we don’t even notice when it is being used?  What if it isn’t just about being blatantly racist but about embedded racism that rears its ugly head on a regular basis, often unnoticed by those who use it?

    With this, I think the time is now.  It is Mother’s Day and I cannot imagine the fear a non-white mother must have as she sends her non-white children out into the world, giving them instructions on how to avoid even appearing to do anything wrong.  I cannot image giving them directions on the best way to get places so that they are in places where they should not be.  What about giving them guidance so that the white people won’t think they are dangerous or a threat?  I can’t imagine because I am white.  What I can say is that enough is enough.

    And I don’t know where else to start when enough is enough than the Bible.  I don’t know how else to find direction and guidance than God’s instructions for life – God’s instructions that show love and peace and kindness without any difference.  I don’t know any other place to begin than with the grace that is so freely given.  I can only begin with the life of Jesus – a non-white person that led the way to love.

    There are many places we can go from here.  Jesus ate with sinners and tax collectors when that was not okay – not only shunned but dangerous.  Jesus went and sat down with a Samaritan woman in order to show her love in a time and place that was not acceptable.  He taught a parable about who was our neighbor using someone from a different culture and was despised by those he spoke.  Jesus gave examples of inviting all people to the table and welcoming the forgotten and the oppressed.  He died for all people and gives us the command to love God and love others, regardless.  And we have turned that, all too often, into loving people like us.  If you don’t believe me, look at those that have been accused of these hate crimes over the years…those that claim faith, that claim to be a part of a church, that also claim superiority and fear of someone different taking over.  Wasn’t Jesus hung for similar reasons – fear of someone else taking over and superiority?  We tend to forget that Jesus wasn’t a white male American – or the fact that he wasn’t white at all.

    In Bible Study this week, we looked at 1 Peter 2:2-10.  I want to revisit a particular few verses of this scripture – and for some of us, introduce it for just a moment.  Verses 9-10 read, “2:9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s own people, in order that you may proclaim the mighty acts of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.
    2:10 Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.”  One people, holy to God.  That people is not a color or an origin or a sex.  One people because we are God’s people.  This does not mean white people.  This is God’s people.

    If indeed, we are to work to become more like Christ, to be one people, where do we begin?  As white Christians, I have to believe we begin with repentance.  We begin with acknowledgement where we have misunderstood, where we have fallen short, where we have taken advantage of our privilege without fighting for true equality.  We acknowledge that our privilege has held others down.  We begin to understand that we have allowed our fears to direct our actions.  We begin by asking for forgiveness – both from God and from our brothers and sisters that have a different skin color or origin than us.  Forgiveness is hard because it is uncomfortable and causes us to confront the issues we have that we might not otherwise acknowledge.  Being repentant means we don’t want it to be like that any longer – meaning as white heterosexual people, we are willing to release our power and privilege and fight for the rights of those not like us.  Repentance means that we do the frightening work of having conversations of where others have been wronged.  When we are willing to sit down and hear the voices of other people unlike us, we can begin to work towards something different.

    I want to offer one more scripture as I bring this to a beginning (though nearing the end of the message, I pray the beginning of a new start)

    Colossians 1:9-20

    9 For this reason, since the day we heard it, we have not ceased praying for you and asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of God’s[d] will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, 10 so that you may lead lives worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, as you bear fruit in every good work and as you grow in the knowledge of God. 11 May you be made strong with all the strength that comes from his glorious power, and may you be prepared to endure everything with patience, while joyfully 12 giving thanks to the Father, who has enabled[e] you[f] to share in the inheritance of the saints in the light. 13 He has rescued us from the power of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of his beloved Son, 14 in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.[g]

    15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation; 16 for in[h]him all things in heaven and on earth were created, things visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or powers—all things have been created through him and for him. 17 He himself is before all things, and in[i] him all things hold together. 18 He is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that he might come to have first place in everything. 19 For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, 20 and through him God was pleased to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, by making peace through the blood of his cross.

    There is a lot packed in this scripture, but I hear the desire to live a life worthy of the gospel.  I want to live fully pleasing to God.  I want to have my eyes opened to the truth – even when it hurts.  I want to enter conversations that challenge my thoughts and actions so that I can see where I have gone wrong.  I want to follow Christ wherever he leads me and his church.  I want to lift up my brothers and sisters, as we begin to ask for forgiveness, a small step in moving forward.  My prayer is that God would be glorified in it all.  I pray that hearts would begin to heal, efforts would be made towards justice, and lives would be changed.  I pray my life begins to show the love of God for all of his children.

    Church – will you begin with me?

    Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy.

    Amen.

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    The trail was calling

  • It’s all too much… Good Friday of Holy Week

    I’m not sure I can express what I have seen tonight.  I am without words, in complete shock.  I am hurt to the depths of my soul and there is an aching of which I have never experienced before.  These have been the most difficult moments of my life.  I am drained, I am weary, I feel defeated, I am hopeless.  What I once thought is no more.  I am now living in a state of disbelief – is this nightmare ever going to end?  I don’t think so.  I don’t see how it can.  It is finished.

    I will do my best with what I have seen and heard.  It is a little spotty because things happened so very fast and I felt so out of control.  It was as if events flashed before my eyes and all I could do was hold on.  It all began with the washing of the feet, the whisper that Judas had with Jesus, the dinner.  It all seemed to begin there.  After the meal, everyone got up and headed out.  I wasn’t quite ready to go home, so I tagged along.  They went to this garden which seemed familiar to everyone else, like they had been there multiple times.  I had been by the garden but had not actually spent any time here.  It was not somewhere I was completely familiar.  Then I see Judas coming up.  At first, it was a welcome sight because he was the one that had invited me to the dinner in the first place – he had introduced me to Jesus.  But the welcome sight became frightening very quickly.  He was not alone.  There were soldiers and police with him.  I tried to make eye contact with him, but he would not look my way.  It was as if he had turned into someone I did not know.  My heart sank.  What was he doing, what was this all about?  It couldn’t be good.  It turns out that Judas was bringing them to Jesus.

    It becomes even more confusing at that point – it looks like Peter is ready for a fight.  They have brought soldiers and police and so Peter is ready to take them down.  He even cuts one of them.  But from what I could see, Jesus touched him and took care of him – the enemy.  He healed those that had come for him.  I definitely don’t understand why, but I do know that is just who Jesus is.  So they take him like he is a criminal.  I am so confused because I can’t imagine that Jesus has done anything to be treated like this.  You would think he is a fugitive or murderer the way they haul him off.  I could leave but I just can’t go home, not with all this going on.  I follow at a distance.  Peter follows too but I lose him somewhere in the crowd.

    We end up at Pilate’s – the one in charge.  I knew this was more serious than I had originally thought.  It looks like they want him to do something with Jesus.  The crowds have gathered and it looks like a mob.  I feel like someone woke all the people in town and told them to come for a show.  I’m at the back of the crowd and can barely see Jesus – but I did hear that Pilate was offering to set him free.  I thought – good, now we can get this nightmare behind us and go home.  But the people shouted to release someone else instead.  Do these people not know who he is?  Have they not heard him speak?  Have they not eaten the bread he passed out? Who were these people anyway and what did they have against Jesus?  It seemed like everyone around had a vendetta that I was unaware.  What had Jesus done that was so bad – that everyone hated him so much?  So they carried him off.

    I couldn’t watch what happened after that.  It started off bad and I can only imagine it got worse.  They were beating him like he was the most cruel, vile criminal that ever existed.  They treated him like he had killed multiple people and had to pay.  The anger and hatred on their faces as they whipped him was horrifying.  It is amazing what we can do when fueled with hatred and anger.  I turned my head – I was nauseous.  I had seen enough.  I couldn’t watch any longer.  I sat down on the ground and tried to pretend this wasn’t happening.  Everyone was so angry – so much rage.  It was destroying me inside.

    Before I knew it, the crowd was moving again.  Whether it was hours or minutes, I do not know.  I was losing track of time and days.  This was the worst experience of my life.  I wanted to go home but I needed to know what they were going to do to Jesus.  I felt so helpless in that all I could do was watch.  I could see him through the crowds, he looked defeated.  I wouldn’t even have known it was him if I hadn’t been there.  They had beaten him beyond recognition and now had given him a cross.  They were going to hang him.  They were really going to do this.  I couldn’t understand why or how.  I didn’t understand what he did.  No one could tell me.  They just wanted him dead.  And I just wanted to be sitting at the table with him over dinner – learning what it meant to love.

    The next image is burned in my mind for the rest of my life.  I will never be able to forget.  From the back of the crowd, I see a wooden cross hoisted from the ground and on it was Jesus.  I just couldn’t.  This was too much.  It was over.  I went home.

    Today’s Scripture – John 18:1-19:42

    18 After Jesus had spoken these words, he went out with his disciples across the Kidron valley to a place where there was a garden, which he and his disciples entered. 2 Now Judas, who betrayed him, also knew the place, because Jesus often met there with his disciples. 3 So Judas brought a detachment of soldiers together with police from the chief priests and the Pharisees, and they came there with lanterns and torches and weapons. 4 Then Jesus, knowing all that was to happen to him, came forward and asked them, “Whom are you looking for?” 5 They answered, “Jesus of Nazareth.”[a] Jesus replied, “I am he.”[b] Judas, who betrayed him, was standing with them. 6 When Jesus[c] said to them, “I am he,”[d]they stepped back and fell to the ground. 7 Again he asked them, “Whom are you looking for?” And they said, “Jesus of Nazareth.”[e] 8 Jesus answered, “I told you that I am he.[f] So if you are looking for me, let these men go.” 9 This was to fulfill the word that he had spoken, “I did not lose a single one of those whom you gave me.” 10 Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it, struck the high priest’s slave, and cut off his right ear. The slave’s name was Malchus. 11 Jesus said to Peter, “Put your sword back into its sheath. Am I not to drink the cup that the Father has given me?”

    12 So the soldiers, their officer, and the Jewish police arrested Jesus and bound him. 13 First they took him to Annas, who was the father-in-law of Caiaphas, the high priest that year. 14 Caiaphas was the one who had advised the Jews that it was better to have one person die for the people.

    15 Simon Peter and another disciple followed Jesus. Since that disciple was known to the high priest, he went with Jesus into the courtyard of the high priest, 16 but Peter was standing outside at the gate. So the other disciple, who was known to the high priest, went out, spoke to the woman who guarded the gate, and brought Peter in. 17 The woman said to Peter, “You are not also one of this man’s disciples, are you?” He said, “I am not.” 18 Now the slaves and the police had made a charcoal fire because it was cold, and they were standing around it and warming themselves. Peter also was standing with them and warming himself.

    19 Then the high priest questioned Jesus about his disciples and about his teaching. 20 Jesus answered, “I have spoken openly to the world; I have always taught in synagogues and in the temple, where all the Jews come together. I have said nothing in secret. 21 Why do you ask me? Ask those who heard what I said to them; they know what I said.” 22 When he had said this, one of the police standing nearby struck Jesus on the face, saying, “Is that how you answer the high priest?” 23 Jesus answered, “If I have spoken wrongly, testify to the wrong. But if I have spoken rightly, why do you strike me?” 24 Then Annas sent him bound to Caiaphas the high priest.

    25 Now Simon Peter was standing and warming himself. They asked him, “You are not also one of his disciples, are you?” He denied it and said, “I am not.” 26 One of the slaves of the high priest, a relative of the man whose ear Peter had cut off, asked, “Did I not see you in the garden with him?” 27 Again Peter denied it, and at that moment the cock crowed.

    28 Then they took Jesus from Caiaphas to Pilate’s headquarters.[g] It was early in the morning. They themselves did not enter the headquarters,[h] so as to avoid ritual defilement and to be able to eat the Passover. 29 So Pilate went out to them and said, “What accusation do you bring against this man?” 30 They answered, “If this man were not a criminal, we would not have handed him over to you.” 31 Pilate said to them, “Take him yourselves and judge him according to your law.” The Jews replied, “We are not permitted to put anyone to death.” 32 (This was to fulfill what Jesus had said when he indicated the kind of death he was to die.)

    33 Then Pilate entered the headquarters[i] again, summoned Jesus, and asked him, “Are you the King of the Jews?” 34 Jesus answered, “Do you ask this on your own, or did others tell you about me?” 35 Pilate replied, “I am not a Jew, am I? Your own nation and the chief priests have handed you over to me. What have you done?” 36 Jesus answered, “My kingdom is not from this world. If my kingdom were from this world, my followers would be fighting to keep me from being handed over to the Jews. But as it is, my kingdom is not from here.” 37 Pilate asked him, “So you are a king?” Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. For this I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice.” 38 Pilate asked him, “What is truth?”

    After he had said this, he went out to the Jews again and told them, “I find no case against him. 39 But you have a custom that I release someone for you at the Passover. Do you want me to release for you the King of the Jews?” 40 They shouted in reply, “Not this man, but Barabbas!” Now Barabbas was a bandit.

    19 Then Pilate took Jesus and had him flogged. 2 And the soldiers wove a crown of thorns and put it on his head, and they dressed him in a purple robe. 3 They kept coming up to him, saying, “Hail, King of the Jews!” and striking him on the face. 4 Pilate went out again and said to them, “Look, I am bringing him out to you to let you know that I find no case against him.” 5 So Jesus came out, wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe. Pilate said to them, “Here is the man!” 6 When the chief priests and the police saw him, they shouted, “Crucify him! Crucify him!” Pilate said to them, “Take him yourselves and crucify him; I find no case against him.” 7 The Jews answered him, “We have a law, and according to that law he ought to die because he has claimed to be the Son of God.”

    8 Now when Pilate heard this, he was more afraid than ever. 9 He entered his headquarters[j] again and asked Jesus, “Where are you from?” But Jesus gave him no answer. 10 Pilate therefore said to him, “Do you refuse to speak to me? Do you not know that I have power to release you, and power to crucify you?” 11 Jesus answered him, “You would have no power over me unless it had been given you from above; therefore the one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin.” 12 From then on Pilate tried to release him, but the Jews cried out, “If you release this man, you are no friend of the emperor. Everyone who claims to be a king sets himself against the emperor.”

    13 When Pilate heard these words, he brought Jesus outside and sat[k] on the judge’s bench at a place called The Stone Pavement, or in Hebrew[l] Gabbatha. 14 Now it was the day of Preparation for the Passover; and it was about noon. He said to the Jews, “Here is your King!” 15 They cried out, “Away with him! Away with him! Crucify him!” Pilate asked them, “Shall I crucify your King?” The chief priests answered, “We have no king but the emperor.” 16 Then he handed him over to them to be crucified.

    So they took Jesus; 17 and carrying the cross by himself, he went out to what is called The Place of the Skull, which in Hebrew[m] is called Golgotha. 18 There they crucified him, and with him two others, one on either side, with Jesus between them. 19 Pilate also had an inscription written and put on the cross. It read, “Jesus of Nazareth,[n] the King of the Jews.” 20 Many of the Jews read this inscription, because the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city; and it was written in Hebrew,[o] in Latin, and in Greek. 21 Then the chief priests of the Jews said to Pilate, “Do not write, ‘The King of the Jews,’ but, ‘This man said, I am King of the Jews.’” 22 Pilate answered, “What I have written I have written.” 23 When the soldiers had crucified Jesus, they took his clothes and divided them into four parts, one for each soldier. They also took his tunic; now the tunic was seamless, woven in one piece from the top. 24 So they said to one another, “Let us not tear it, but cast lots for it to see who will get it.” This was to fulfill what the scripture says,

    “They divided my clothes among themselves,
    and for my clothing they cast lots.”

    25 And that is what the soldiers did.

    Meanwhile, standing near the cross of Jesus were his mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing beside her, he said to his mother, “Woman, here is your son.” 27 Then he said to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his own home.

    28 After this, when Jesus knew that all was now finished, he said (in order to fulfill the scripture), “I am thirsty.” 29 A jar full of sour wine was standing there. So they put a sponge full of the wine on a branch of hyssop and held it to his mouth. 30 When Jesus had received the wine, he said, “It is finished.” Then he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

    31 Since it was the day of Preparation, the Jews did not want the bodies left on the cross during the sabbath, especially because that sabbath was a day of great solemnity. So they asked Pilate to have the legs of the crucified men broken and the bodies removed. 32 Then the soldiers came and broke the legs of the first and of the other who had been crucified with him. 33 But when they came to Jesus and saw that he was already dead, they did not break his legs. 34 Instead, one of the soldiers pierced his side with a spear, and at once blood and water came out. 35 (He who saw this has testified so that you also may believe. His testimony is true, and he knows[p] that he tells the truth.) 36 These things occurred so that the scripture might be fulfilled, “None of his bones shall be broken.” 37 And again another passage of scripture says, “They will look on the one whom they have pierced.”

    38 After these things, Joseph of Arimathea, who was a disciple of Jesus, though a secret one because of his fear of the Jews, asked Pilate to let him take away the body of Jesus. Pilate gave him permission; so he came and removed his body. 39 Nicodemus, who had at first come to Jesus by night, also came, bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes, weighing about a hundred pounds. 40 They took the body of Jesus and wrapped it with the spices in linen cloths, according to the burial custom of the Jews. 41 Now there was a garden in the place where he was crucified, and in the garden there was a new tomb in which no one had ever been laid. 42 And so, because it was the Jewish day of Preparation, and the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there.

    He did where you're by Yongsung Kim

  • Captivated

    It is really interesting what captivates our minds and pulls us in…what so easily distracts us from all that is around.  Over the past week or so, developing stories of the virus have spread…changing situations moment by moment.  It is all we talk about and all we hear.  Panic has set it and fear reigns down like fire on a pile of kindling.  We are captivated, waiting to hear what is next, checking to see how many cases there are now, and wondering how we will find toilet paper.  We seem to breathe in the news of the world and we exhale with long breaths of despair and worry.  It has truly taken over.  But, if we take a moment…turn off the TV…put down the phones…keep our distance from others…and simply walk outside…all is not in chaos.

    It is SPRING.  There are trees beginning to bloom, flowers starting to bud, and the birds seem to be singing their song louder than ever.  I wonder how many have even paid attention to the beautiful symphony of music played by God’s creation.  How can we become captivated…not on the chaos and worry and fear…but on the One that gives us life and breath – peace and joy (even in the storm)?  Maybe today we stop focusing on all the things that are going wrong and focus on what God gets right…EVERY…SINGLE…DAY.  May we become captivated by creation…beauty that can overwhelm if we simply pay attention.

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