It’s not easy to begin again. You know the progress you had made and here you are, trying again from the beginning. You are back at the starting line when you were so far already into the race. It can be frustrating, even a bit disheartening. It can also be a chance to regroup and become stronger. But there isn’t anything easy about it.
I find myself in that place now. Once again, I am starting over. This is not the first time. And I can only guess it won’t be my last. But I press on anyway. Why? Because I love it. I can’t explain it. I don’t understand it. All I know is that it is a part of who I am. So here I go, one more time.
I am a runner. It took me a long time to take that in and be able to write it. As someone that never got off the couch to do any exercise or sports as a kid, to define myself as a runner seemed ridiculous. Did I run? Sure I did. I didn’t run fast. I didn’t run well, at least not in my mind. I wasn’t a runner as a young person. I started later in life. I wouldn’t ever be all that good at it. So I discounted what I could do. But ultimately I am a runner. And I love it. It is just who I am.
Right now, I am a runner recovering from an injury. No, I don’t know what happened. No, I don’t know what I did wrong. But it happened. And it stopped me. So it has been over a month since I have really run. It is time to try again. In order to try again, I have to start over. That’s right – I have to begin as if I have never run before.
Today, I begin with walking and maybe a little jogging. It will be mostly walking, though. For someone that could run distance just a month or so ago, to walk is defeating. I only think about what I should be able to do. I tend to beat myself up for what I cannot do. But on my walk this morning, I realized a few things. I realized in my walk, I was able to really notice the moon and the stars. They were so bright and vivid – swept across the vast expanse of the sky. I could really embrace all that was before me. What a gift to be able to notice God’s beautiful creation. I also noticed that the short time that I did jog, I had a sense of gratefulness. I was grateful I could get out and exercise. I was grateful to breathe and enjoy what was before me. I was grateful for the few steps I could take. This sense of gratefulness carries me further than the miles ever could.
I see the joy in starting over. I understand there are experiences to trying again. It gives me the motivation to just get up and keep trying. What do you need to start over? What is it that you are putting off that could help you? What steps can you take to achieve your goal? There is great joy and gratefulness in the journey. May you take the first step today.
12 Not that I have already obtained this or have already reached the goal; but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. 13 Beloved, I do not consider that I have made it my own; but this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus.
Photos included in Devotions are captured by David Cain – The Cain Gallery. Photos are available for sale by contacting The Cain Gallery