Category: General

Leo is our dog.  Wendy and I have had dogs in our lives since we were first married.  I brought home our first two and we have had them as an important part of our family continually.  They have brought joy, love and excitement to our household.  

If I’m honest, all of our dogs have loved Wendy.  Even the dogs that started out as one of the kid’s dogs or mine eventually became Wendy’s.  She just has that touch and they all love her.  Most tolerate me, some put up with me only when she is gone.  Then we got Leo.  

Leo is our second Vizsla.  Emma was my running dog who became Wendy’s best buddy.  She was our first Vizsla.  Leo was a challenge when we first got him.  He was all puppy.  And, like Emma, he sleeps in the bed with us.  Leo was different.  Emma would curl up in a ball and sleep at the foot of the bed.  Leo has to lay close enough to touch you, always.  

I am not really a touchy type of person.  This took more adjustment than I care to admit.  He really liked to be close and knew no personal space boundaries.  I thought for sure he would just end up as Wendy’s dog, especially since he liked to be close.  But, it turns out, he loves us both.  He may be the most loving dog ever.

Leo has been through more than his share of challenges.  He was diagnosed with an auto-immune disorder after being almost completely paralyzed.  The prognosis wasn’t great but he powered through.  Most recently, he was diagnosed with cancer and had to have a limb removed.  Again, he powered through.  That’s incredible.  But that isn’t all that makes him so special.

What makes Leo so special is his ability to simply love.  He climbs up next to me, lays his head in my lap and simply enjoys my presence.  He lays as close to us as possible in the bed.  He sleeps a lot more now but never misses an opportunity to be right by our side.

Leo has changed me, slowly and with much resistance on my part.  He has shown me what unconditional love looks like.  He has forced me to crave his presence next to me.  He brightens my morning when I come in simply by the excited wagging of his tail.  And he never ceases to amaze me.  He just loves.  And I am grateful.  So, I’ll treasure the moments we have left.  And his love will always have an impact on me.  What a gift from God.  

We are accustomed to be in charge. We often work diligently to put together the best guest list possible.  Who can sit at this table, who do we need to separate, who can’t tolerate the others – all decisions we make when we really start deciding who will come and who will not.  It happens often, sometimes without us even thinking about it.  We purposely don’t invite certain folks and make sure others feel welcome.  And it’s okay, it is our table and our event and our money.  So it is totally fine.  Well, it is except in our faith.

Jesus had this incredibly unusual habit of inviting people to his table who didn’t belong.  He touched lepers (the untouchables), he hung out with those who had been forgotten, he healed a woman who had been unclean probably longer than she had been clean, he spent time with folks who were culturally irrelevant, and he listened to those who yelled his name, even though they should have no place even near him.  His disciples must have thought he lost his mind when they come back from the market and found him talking to a woman of questionable character from a rival tribe.  She was the least of people to even see, much less talk to or hang out with.  He must have been trying to ruin his reputation.  He certainly couldn’t have seen value in her.  She held no value in most people’s eyes.  And yet, this is the woman who he reveals who he is.  Check it out – he tells HER who he is.  He doesn’t do this for any of those who felt they were worthy.  SHE was the one (read John 4).

In other words, Jesus begins to open wide his invite list.  He even tells stories about inviting the poor and wounded, sick and desperate to the table.  He pushes all the cultural norms to sit with those who had never sat this close to a religious person before.  And if we are honest, the religious folks were extremely uncomfortable.  They had decided already who was in and who was out.  They had a list of rules and things people had to do and none of those people had done them.  They hadn’t completed any of the things that were required or said the right things or even signed the right agreements.  And yet…And yet…and yet…these are the people Jesus offers an invitation.  

Jesus’ list is one we are not in charge of (thankfully).  We don’t decide who is in and who is out.  And we also don’t decide who is worthy based on a list of criteria we have put together.  Jesus defies all of this.  And if we really take a moment, we should be grateful as well.  We might find we didn’t deserve to be at the table even if we did everything we thought was required.  We got the invitation because of Jesus’ love, not our worthiness.  And it just might be, the people we have decided are “those” people…these are the ones Jesus has a special place of honor at his table.  It isn’t our invitation list.  It is his.  And maybe, we become grateful for simply being invited.

I’ve spent way too much of my life trying to be what everyone expected of me.  I would strive to fit the “mold” of whatever I was doing.  If I am a preacher, I need to look, act, talk…be a preacher.  If I am a baker, this is what bakers do…  If I am a father or husband or friend or whatever…there is a list of what is expected.  The trouble is – I am not ever going to fit the description of any of those things completely.  Here’s the deal – I can only be Brad.  Sometimes that is good.  Sometimes…not so much.  I speak before I think and often say things that are better left unsaid.  If my mouth doesn’t say it, my face definitely will.  I am quiet and loud at the same time. And I throw myself completely into my work and I am extremely dedicated.  

I’ve learned that as long as I try to fit into someone else’s description, I will not ever do it well – at least not in the long term.  It isn’t sustainable.  I am Brad… not anyone else.  I will never be a minister like Jerry or a gardener like Gabe or a baker like Duff or a father/husband like Mr Cleaver.   And I have to live unapologetically as Brad.  Except, I feel like I should apologize for being Brad most of the time.  It can be a bit much sometimes.  

So I guess I’m just trying to encourage myself and you… just be you.  The worlds needs you to just be you – your absolute best version of yourself.  I often use the phrase, “highest and best”.  What if we just gave that?  I won’t always but I can sure try.  And If I am the highest and best version of Brad – that has to be enough – it is, after all, all I have to give.  

Sometimes we choose the path.  Sometimes the path is chosen for us.  Either way, we must travel.  That can be difficult when we just don’t want to.  When we are feeling stuck or beat down, we just want to stop.  We don’t want to proceed.  In running, I have found myself at this point multiple times.  I have been on the path (that may have been chosen for me, but I still showed up on my own free will) and plodding along.  At some point, I have wanted to quit.  I wanted to sit down and call it the end.  That works okay if we are on the road and you have communication and someone can come get you.  It doesn’t work as well if you are on a trail in the middle of nowhere.  Those are the times when you suck it up and keep moving. 

Life can be like the trail.  There aren’t always folks available to come get you out of your mess.  There are parts where you just want to quit.  And there are majestic and amazing sections you want to camp out forever. But you can’t do any of these things for long.  You must keep moving, even when it hurts.  In life, we experience grief and pain, tragedy and disappointment.  We experience celebration and joys, new opportunities and once-in-a-lifetime moments.  All of these are part of the path.  We just keep moving…one step at a time.  Whether you chose the path or the path was chosen for you, you can do this.  Don’t stop for long, great things still await. 

It can be difficult to pause, to stop for a moment and just breathe. My nature is to simply keep pushing until I collapse. But pausing can be so refreshing and important.

When I pause, I open my ears to hear what is around me. I can clear distractions to see what God may be teaching me. I notice good things which would have been otherwise overlooked in the rush of life. I can focus for just a moment and hopefully adjust my path to reflect following God.

When I don’t pause, I feel anxious and rushed, overwhelmed and chaotic. It’s hard to focus when there are constant distractions vying for my attention. Because my attention span is short, I tend to simply go from one thing to the other without recognition of the valuable. It’s ultimately unproductive.

So I pause. For a moment, a day, or whatever it may take. I seek to redirect my path, find peace in the journey, and follow God on this amazing thing called life.

I enjoy Sunday mornings so much.  This is the time when I can slow down and take my time.  I sit with my coffee by the window and watch the world awake to another day.  I can slow long enough to hear the birds sing and pause the rush of my otherwise busy life.  It does my soul good to simply be still for a few moments.  

Music is an important part of my life (though I don’t sing or play).  It is in these moments I hear a message in my mind from something that has become stuck throughout the week.  I’m sure you know how tunes or phrases can begin to play in your mind and continue despite your best efforts to move them along.  Today, that tune is “Won’t he do it, yes he will.”  It’s a fairly new song with upbeat music. It plays in my mind today and I let it.  It takes on a unique message for me on this day.  

One year ago today, we opened the bakery.  I had no idea what would happen.  If I’m honest, I had very low expectations.  This past year has shown me that I was dreaming way too small and I just need to hang on for what’s next.  That’s exciting and scary, all wrapped into one.  But if this year has taught me nothing else, it has taught me that I can’t do this alone.  

There have been so many people who have stepped up in my life and I am overwhelmed with gratitude.  I have an incredible family and friends who have become a vital part of my family.  I have watched folks put in long hours and do amazing things.  And again, I have learned I could not have done this alone.  

For someone who is a driven, independent person, this has been a beautifully difficult lesson to learn.  I could not do this without those who stand with me every single day.  And I have realized, most importantly, I could not do anything without God.  I’ve tried, I must admit.  I’ve tried to do it all by myself.  But I can’t.  And the best part is, God doesn’t expect me to, and neither does anyone else.  

So as challenging as it may be, I seek a deeper relationship with God.  I seek more moments where I can sit and be, listening to where he may be leading.  I seek to live in gratitude for the people who walk with me on this journey.  And I seek to live in community with amazing people who will not let me do this alone.  Won’t he do it?  Yes he will.

I love to sit on my front porch with my cup of coffee and just breathe.  I don’t do this often enough and there is one simple reason…life.  Life seems to throw things my way which interrupt my moment of peace and quiet.  I think of things I should be doing other than sitting.  The time tells me I should be somewhere soon.  There are places to be and people to see, so the saying goes.  So I let the quiet go in exchange for the fast paced life I have not only grown accustomed, but have set up for myself.  I did this. 

One of the reasons this happens is because I tend to value busy over rest.  Too much of either can be a problem, but I always tend to lean towards the “too busy” side of things.  Taking it easy doesn’t come naturally for me, it requires actual effort.  While this may sound odd to some people, my fellow doers will get it.  We were made for doing, or so I tell myself.  That is all great until I am reminded that sometimes we have to simply be.  I am told we are human “be”ings not human “doers”.  I’m not comfortable with this and I’d prefer to ignore it.  I’m fairly good at ignoring it until I completely run my body down and I am forced to be rather than do.  Crazy how that happens.  

Today, though, I wasn’t forced.  No one made me sit here.  I am not sick or in pain.  Today, the breeze is perfect, the temperature just right, and the view from my front porch, medicinal.  If I’m honest, I don’t know when it will happen again…I’m not suddenly a changed man.  But just for this moment, I breathe and enjoy THIS moment.  Yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn’t promised.  Today I take a moment to be.  Maybe you can too.