Category: General

Some days bring difficulty…words fail…answers are not available…and the quiet seems to be the only peace.  I find that these last few days are (indescribable)… As the storm approached, I have heard and read prayers for the storm to turn…though as we pray, we may not have considered what turning may look like or whom that may affect.  I have heard cries of thanksgiving for minimum damage while neighbors have open roofs and no place to call home.  I have experienced relief that the storm has passed…all the while,  the river waters rise and friends struggle to bring a few belongings to a new location…their home and dream is, once again, washed away.

Please don’t misunderstand. I believe we should not welcome tragedy or minimize gratefulness.  I, too, am thankful to be safe and out of danger.  I am grateful for no damage in the face of a powerful storm.  I just wonder if our prayers and gratefulness come from a place where we seek to take care of self…while our neighbors rush to find rescue.

This is not the first time I have felt this way.  Actually, I feel this way when I thank God for my daily “bread” and then eat more than my share of the world’s produce.  I wonder about my place to thank God for what he has given when there are brothers and sisters around the world that thank God for much less…possibly their one meal for the day or many days.  I wonder if I’m missing something about what God is trying to teach me when I thank him for my daily bread but when I may not be the best steward of it. This is not one of those thoughts of…”make sure you clean your plate because there are starving children in Africa” speeches.  That, in my opinion, teaches us to pile our plates high and eat it all…even in the face of gluttony.  It does not teach us to become better stewards of the gifts we have been given or to actually share a meal with anyone else.  It is more of a thought about what God has given us and how he loves the whole, entire world…not just me.  Why am I given so much while others have so very little?  My faith is not bigger nor do I deserve more.  My faith is probably weaker and struggle could teach me something.

It just becomes more real as I know my neighbors that have worked so very hard to re-start their lives only watch it washed away – again.  In my heart, I know that the value of life is far greater than any possession we can accumulate.  But I find that less than comforting for those that have only a few moments to pick up their whole life of belongings and to say goodbye to a significant part of their lives.  It is easier to sit in an air conditioned home with food to eat,  proclaiming homes and cars and possessions really don’t mean anything, than it is to leave those things behind to be destroyed.  I actually find that many of the things we say to each other as believers really has no real sustenance when we sit in a first world country consuming more than our share and complaining about things which really just don’t matter.  It is hard to identify with those that truly struggle when our greatest challenges include the messed up order in our local drive thru or how our nail color doesn’t exactly match our outfit.  I’m not trying to trivialize some of the things we are challenged with…but let’s be realistic…most of the time our challenges aren’t really challenges at all…but mere missteps in a lifelong journey…minor stumbles in a lifetime of good things. Destruction certainly sheds a new light on the things which we once felt were “unbearable” – those things that now seem so insignificant in the clarity of the rain.

I believe that God’s Word (not ours) speaks loudly in our celebrations…but provides great comfort when there are no words to be said.  In the quiet of the house with no electricity…in the deep grief of the loss of a lifetime of memories…in the roar of a hungry child’s stomach…GOD IS STILL PRESENT.  And I don’t think his words are of condemnation or judgment or correction. Maybe his words don’t seem like words at all, but more like silent moments of God just providing his Almighty Presence, the Presence that feels a whole lot like love.

As the rains continue to fall and as the rivers continue to rise, my prayer is that the Presence of the Almighty is felt…sometimes in words of a Psalmist or writer gifted by God…and sometimes in the Silence of the Almighty.  In our gratefulness, I pray that with our overwhelming place of giftedness, we find a way to give and serve like never before.  May this truly be a time to show love to our neighbor and become the hands and feet of Christ.  May this be our starting point rather than a short term event which launches forward Christ’s love to a world that feels so unlovable.

Psalm 73:26, “My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

Lying flat…being very still…every move seems to find pain.  Several days were spent just like this.  I work really hard to stay in shape and eat well.  I try to do the right things that produce the right results. Morning routines are set and schedules are made.  So when I find myself in this type of pain, I wonder what went wrong.  The answer…nothing.  Nothing went wrong.  This is how it is for this season.

For a painful week, I had back/kidney spasms that slowed me quite a bit…and if I am honest, for the most part, halted my life.  The good news is that this has all improved.  The best news is that soon I will be back to my normal routine of work, church, exercise, etc.  I am grateful that I do not have this type of pain on a regular basis.  It gives me a tiny glimpse into the life many people grapple with everyday…a life of chronic pain.  My pain will get better and I will move forward.  I pray for those that deal with pain regularly.

This time has been reflective for me and the most important lesson…I need others…I am not invincible. Now, in my mind, I know that.  I understand that I have limitations (every time I did an ultramarathon or triathlon or long bike ride, I was reminded of my limitations in very real terms).  So intellectually, I understand I am not invincible.  But I still like to do things myself (and maybe pride myself on doing it without any help).  I am independent and enjoy taking control of my own life.  Don’t misunderstand me…I don’t want to control your life – I’m really not handling my own all that well.  I do, though, want to know that I can do my life myself independent of outside help. My mom will be quick to tell you that since I was a small child, I wanted to do it “by self”.  I didn’t want any help from anyone.  Lying on my back in bed unable to even get a drink of water told me loud and clear…I need other people.  I needed help getting food, I need help getting dressed, I needed help to get to appointments.  I could not do it on my own.  And…I was not happy about it at all.

Today, gratefulness is in my heart.  I am grateful for my wife, my mom, my girls, my church family, work family and so many more. I am grateful that I do not have to do this alone.  I am not alone in this life.  We are meant to share life in community.  We are not meant to do this by ourselves.  God is so good he has given us others to live life alongside. Family, friends, neighbors…altogether living life…isn’t that the way it was meant to be?

In the end, I have learned I cannot do this alone…nor do I want to.  I am grateful for the humbling lesson and I am grateful for life lived together. 

June 4, 2018 marks a special milestone in my life.  It is my 43^rdbirthday, which is an age that seems quite ordinary.  But it was 10 years ago…at the age of 33, I laced up my running shoes and decided to start running.  I had tried before and hated it…mostly because I didn’t really give it a chance, thinking I should be able to run a mile when I had not moved off the couch for most of my life.  This time was different…I was determined to train and run a 5k.  That was the goal and it seemed like it would be nearly impossible.  So I opened up the “Couch to 5k” training plan and made a commitment…I would start running.  And I did.

In the last 10 years, I have run thousands of miles.  Running has been my sanity, my joy, my meditation…it has helped me think through critical decisions and has been the time when much of my writing came together…my best ideas come when I run.  Sometimes, the run is full of pure joy…the sunrise, the songs of the birds, the bonds of friendship, the challenge of just one more mile.  Sometimes, it feels like pure evil…like the birds are mocking me rather than singing, like the buzzards are hovering around and I am their next meal, times when each step was painful and miserable.  Regardless of the run, the first mile is always the hardest and the last mile is a close second. I have run through some of the most challenging times of my life…through sickness, death of loved ones, difficult decisions.  I have run to celebrate the greatest times.  I have run with the support of loved ones…they were there in some really crazy races.  I have run with equally loud criticism…my favorite is being told that I am going to ruin my knees (by people who have bad knees and never run a day in their lives that I could tell).  Running has opened doors for me to meet some fantastic people…to develop friendships that have lasted through many miles…to bond in a way that really isn’t explainable, unless you run.

The steps I have taken remind me that I am stronger than I ever thought.  I am reminded that I am capable of so much more.  Running is so much mental that I have learned the stories we tell ourselves often determine the outcome…rather than the actual ability. I have grown closer to God through running and have heard him speak through the miles and breaths.

So today, I run to celebrate 10 years.  It has been a tough and yet rewarding time.  I look forward to seeing where my feet take me next.  I will continue to run as far as my imagination and God will allow me to go.

Two of my favorite quotes about running are from John Bingham…

“If you run, you are a runner. It doesn’t matter how fast or how far. It doesn’t matter if today is your first day or if you’ve been running for twenty years. There is no test to pass, no license to earn, no membership card to get. You just run.”

“At age forty-three, when I found myself standing in my garage in a new pair of running shoes, I knew that it was my moment of truth. Behind me lay forty years of bad decisions and broken promises.”
John Bingham, The Courage to Start

How many times have you forgotten something?  I can walk out of a room and forget what I was going in the other room to get.  If I don’t write everything down in my calendar, I will forget to show up for appointments (even regular appointments).  One of the most obvious times I forget is in church. Right before I get ready to go make announcements, someone will tell me something they want me to mention.  If I don’t write it down, in the span of 2 minutes, I will have forgotten.  I am amazed at what I can forget.

Remembering truly is a gift and something that we have to practice.  If it just came naturally, we wouldn’t have to be told to remember.  As a pastor, I really enjoy reading and studying the Old Testament.  Over and over again, God’s people are putting in place ways to remember.  God gave the Israelite people festivals so that they could remember and tell the story.  Passover is a perfect example of such an event.  Many of the people written about in the Bible do things to remember particular events.  They name places after events that happened so they will not forget.  They set up altars and stones to remind them of the extraordinary moments that helped define their life and faith.  They tell the stories to their children so that generations later, there is still remembrance.  Remembering is an important part of the faith of God’s people in the Bible. Now, we have the Bible to help us to remember, if we read it.

Today is Memorial Day. It is a day set aside to remember. We are to remember those that gave their life in service to our country.  It is an act of remembering the sacrifice.  As a grief counselor, I hear over and over that people want to remember their loved one that has died.  We want to remember.  We don’t want to forget that which means so much to us.  We don’t want to forget the sacrifices that have been made.  We don’t want to forget the joys and the good times we had with our loved ones.  And we shouldn’t forget the important foundational events that define our faith and belief. Remembering is a gift.

One of the most fearful and debilitating diseases is the loss of memory.  To remain healthy but not be able to remember is terrifying for both the person and the family.  It leaves a sense of helplessness.  Remembering really is a gift that we treasure.

So if you have the gift of remembering, make it count.  Even if remembering is challenging, put practices in place that help you to sharpen your skills.  Remember what God has done – this gives hope for the future.  Remember the people and events that have helped shape who you are today – this helps to understand your blessings.  Remember those that have gone on before us – this can bring joy and alleviate the pain of the loss.  Remember those that have sacrificed it all – this is what enables us to live in freedom. Remember your gifts and talents – this can help you to use those gifts and talents in the purpose of which you were created.  If you have it, value the gift of remembering.  And share your memories with others.  It just might change a life.

Last weekend, Wendy and I had the chance to get away for a quick trip to the beach.  It was wonderful.  It was chilly outside so there were not a lot of people.  We could walk on the beach without our shoes but still too cold for shorts.  It was peaceful and refreshing.  I am grateful for those moments in life.  As soon as we returned, life kicked back into high gear – the same gear it was in prior to the trip.  I live most of my life like that, and to be honest, I like it that way for the most part.  I enjoy what I do and am grateful for the opportunities I have been given.

This weekend, I couldn’t help but think how great it would be to go back to the beach.  Another weekend to breathe and rest.  On the surface, it sounds wonderful.  But, do I really want to live my life for short trips?  Do I really want to live so that my excitement is found in a few days away?  I don’t think so.

So many of us live for the weekends.  Mondays are dreaded.  We are excited for hump day because it is one step closer to Friday.  Fridays are celebrated.  It is a cycle we can easily embrace.  I wonder, though, at the end of life, if we will only be thankful for the weekends.  I wonder if, by celebrating only Friday through Sunday, we might miss the gifts of Monday through Friday.

Recently, I have spent more time than usual with those that have lost loved ones.  It is a gift that I treasure and take seriously.  I see God in those moments like no other.  He reminds me he is present and that he loves us.  Some of these people had lived their lives and were ready for whatever God had next.  They had celebrated and served and done all that was asked in this life.  They were prepared.  Others, though, would have liked to have had one more day.  They would have liked to have sat at a dinner table and enjoyed one more meal.  They would have liked to have taken one more trip.  They would have liked to have walked one more mile.  Some would even have been thankful for one more Monday…yep, that’s right – a Monday.  Why?  Because each day is precious.  If we only live for the weekends or for the special moments, we miss the moments that are special all throughout our lives.  Maybe we should live celebrating each new day.  Maybe the key to life is not to just look forward to Friday, but to look forward to the gift of another day.

i have written and said many times that each day is a gift.  I wholeheartedly believe that.  I also believe that if we live our lives just for a weekend or a special occasion that we will end our lives having missed the gifts of the other days God has provided.

Today is another day…Aren’t we grateful we have one more day?  May we live grateful…even when Monday comes.

Do you look for it?  Can you find it?  Have you really searched?  I’m sure it is there…

Years ago, the “Where’s Waldo” books and puzzles were everywhere.  The goal was to see if you could find where Waldo was in the picture…hidden, in plain view.  It is interesting how once I found him, I thought about how he was right before my eyes the entire time, but was a struggle to find initially.  Things are right before us, but we miss them.  As a kid, I would look in the cabinet for a snack.  I knew the snack was there…I knew exactly what I wanted…my mouth watered for it…but I just couldn’t find it.  My mom would tell me where it was and still…nothing.  She would walk into the kitchen, pick it right up…and say, “if it was a snake, it would have bit you.”  Yep…right before me, but missed.

I find that some days life is like that.  There are gifts in each day…little bits of joy, excitement…little reminders of God’s presence.  They are always there.  It can be in the smile of a stranger, in the hello of a friend, in the text of someone special, or simply in the rise of the sun.  But some days, it is a struggle to find it.  It is difficult enough just to get out of bed and find my way to the coffee maker…the magic juice that helps my eyes to open and my brain to function.  When the weather is dreary, cold, and by my estimation…just miserable…I find it an accomplishment to have made it through the day.  Yet, just simply “making it” through the day is “wasting it” through the day.  This day, this moment has a gift that is right before us…yet often hidden in plain sight.  We don’t see it because to see it might mean we quit whining and move out of our pity party to see what God has for us.  It might mean that we choose to see the sun in the love of another.  It might just mean we open our hearts and minds to see what is around us…opportunities and blessings.

Today, I pray that we find the gifts in today….They are there…God has not forgotten us…God has not abandoned us…the beauty of the day is right before us.  The joy is even found at…yep, even found at work.  It is found in the small, little moments that can turn a day around.  Even on the most challenging days, there is a glimmer of hope…it is there…it just may be hidden right in plain sight.  Today…where is God in your life?  He’s there…you just have to look.  He might surprise you if you take the time to see.

Just a few weeks ago, I opened my blinds at work, something I do every day because I always like to let the sunlight in.  This time I happened to catch a glimpse of people I knew at the building next door.  I recognized that my Aunt and Uncle were getting in their car.  I picked up my cell phone and texted my Aunt “I see you.”  Because I really could see her, she was looking around wondering where I was.  After a few more texts, they decided to stop by and see me.  Not many people come by my office so it was a real treat when they stopped by to say hello.  Thankfully, she didn’t let the text freak her out, but took time out of her day to come by.  Even though we live close, we rarely get the opportunity to just spend time together.  I was grateful that I saw them.

As this New Year has begun, I have heard of the usual resolutions and goal setting.  I enjoy setting goals myself.  This year, I am working on setting up some accountability so that more of my goals are met.  I have my health and exercise goals, my school and career goals, and my personal goals.  But there is one idea that keeps coming to mind as I begin this year.  I would like to truly take the time to “see” people.  Let me explain.

In my opinion, one of the most valuable gifts that Jesus gave people when he walked the earth was the gift of being seen.  Think about it…the people that he reached out to and that he spent time with were the outcasts, the forgotten, the lowest on every scale.  He didn’t sit at king’s tables or rub elbows with the powerful.  He touched the eyes of the blind.  He healed the disease of the lepers.  He invited the poor to the table.  He sat down at dinner with sinners and the morally questionable.  He looked into the eyes of those who were stepped over, stepped on, and completely forgotten.  Jesus took the time for those that no one else had time for.  He truly saw people.  I believe this made all the difference.

What if you and I took time to truly see people?  We often think of changing the world by doing big things…we think of going across the world to reach people…or feeding whole communities.  I think those are wonderful goals.  But, might it be that we can begin to change our little part of the world by just seeing people?  In the rush of our day, we likely pass many people.  We look down or around or through them.  We avoid eye contact because it can be uncomfortable or because we are just too busy.  Yet, in all of this, we may be missing the opportunity to truly let people know that they have been seen…that they exist…that they are acknowledged…that they are SOMEBODY.  We degrade life when we refuse to see others.  To see someone…if we can have the eyes of Jesus…may change our lives and theirs.  We might see their hurt or their fear or simply that they are people just like us.  We might see their humanity, our shared humanity.  We might see that Jesus loves them just like he loves us.  We might see that they are actually just one of us.  Beneath our façade, we are all created and loved by God.

My prayer for this New Year is that I begin to truly open my eyes, take a moment, and see…see what God has put right in front of me…see those who may not have been seen…and to see with the eyes and love of Jesus.  Open my eyes, Lord.

I think we have finally arrived at the day of reckoning.  For so many years, things have just been accepted.  It has just been the “norm” for this type of thing.  That isn’t the case any longer.  The day has come when people are standing up and saying…this is enough and I will not be subjected to this.  I am grateful for those who have stepped forward to say that they have been treated unfairly, unjustly, and in some cases, devalued as less than a human.

The most recent events have been of women that have come forward to tell of the sexual misconduct of which they have been the victim.  It cannot be easy to come forward, much less in a case where the person is well known and “well respected” in society.  I have personally been shocked by the names that have been called out.  I have heard many say that some of these women have waited too long.  How long is too long when you have been treated in a demeaning, devaluing way?  How long is too long for those whose lives and careers have been ruined because they said no?  How long is too long when these people have had to face shame and despair for so much of their own lives?

It has become a day of reckoning because one woman stood up…then another…then another.  They don’t do this without some backlash…some name calling…some humiliation by those who are hateful and angry and confused.  They do this because it is time.

I have a theory of why sexual misconduct is so rampant in society.  First, and I think most important is the culture of pornography and sex trade.   Could it be that with the influx of pornography and the ease of access…with sex slavery being so prevalent in our world – those factors are playing a huge part in infecting those that are doing things which they think they have the right and power to do? Could it be their hearts and minds have been deceived by the images that they have put into their heart through screens…thoughts they have been allowed to enter because of this deception?

Think of it like this…there are children and young women being sold in sex slavery every day (a fact which still horrifies and angers me).  These people have to be sold to someone.  There has to be a market or there would be no sales.  And, pornography is everywhere.  Someone has to be looking at it or it wouldn’t be…everywhere (TV, ads, internet, phones…everywhere).  These facts have consequences!!  This cannot be without some result to society…to people…to our world.  And why would we think that our leaders, actors, anchormen, and those in power would not be a part of this?  Why would we think that those factors haven’t influenced what is happening and has happened in our world?  When we allow those things which disturb us and hurt us…distort creation and twist truth…to become mainstream in our society…people act according to that.  Ruined relationships…disconnected from reality…painful miserable existences.

Additionally, there has been no accountability. The good ole’ boy network continues to exist where there is no accountability.  Sexual misconduct could be bragged about…used by those in power to get what they want when they want.  If you have power over someone, it is easy to take advantage…and who is to stop it?  No accountability from anyone…those in power and wealth have more power and wealth.

What do we do?  I certainly don’t have all the answers.  But, I do believe one answer is exactly what is happening now….people standing up and saying that this not okay – it never was and never will be.  I also think that there has to be some change…some accountability of what is viewed and what is done.

As a Christian, I also can’t say that sexual misconduct is ever okay nor can I excuse what has happened…we all have to stand with those who have been exploited.  We cannot excuse sexual misconduct, ever.  It is never okay.  Using power and prestige to get what is not yours is never okay.  We do not excuse what has happened.  There are consequences to all of our actions.  That is the day of reckoning.  It is just beginning.  I pray it changes our world…stand up for those who have no voice…for those who have been beaten down…for those who need a hand to hold…stand up Christians!  The day has come.

It is that time again…it is Advent.  This should be a period of waiting.  But who really likes waiting anyway?  As a kid, I loved to watch the Advent Wreath being lit in church…each candle meant we were one week closer to Christmas.  It was exciting but felt like it took forever to happen.  As an adult, we can easily get overwhelmed…there isn’t enough time and there are presents to buy and food to cook (or eat)…there are places to be and church programs to attend.  But, isn’t Advent about waiting?  So what are we waiting for?  Do we really wait for anything any more?  Isn’t waiting really a thing of the past?  We can get food fast and groceries on every corner…we get mad if we have to wait 15 minutes at the bank or for someone to cook something fresh…and don’t get us started about having to wait in line to buy anything during Christmas… We don’t wait?  So what is the deal with this Advent waiting anyway?

Advent is a time to remember to wait expectantly…to have some excitement about the wait (like kids waiting for Christmas).  Waiting for Christ to come.  Yet…he came, as a baby.  So what are we waiting for again?  I hear the words of Zechariah so loudly during this time.  His words are captured in Luke 1:67-79.  He is speaking of the things his son (John) will do as he grows.  As he speaks, he reminds us of something exciting…something worth waiting for…something to watch and keep our eyes open for…he reminds us of the dawn breaking.

I don’t know about you, but I love to watch the dawn break.  I run early in the morning and one of the best times is when it is so dark and then dawn breaks.  It is as if God turns on a light switch – pronouncing “let there be light” each new day.  It is a time of promise.  It is just before the orange and red hues appear over the horizon.  You know the sun is coming and a new day is here!  The dawn breaking…the light coming…THAT is exciting and worth waiting for.

But we don’t see a dawn breaking, do we?  We know darkness.  We understand what it is to live in a dark world.  When there are people who are killing kids in schools, riots that trample people and destroy property as a way to make a point, selling of young people into sex slavery, abuse of the elderly…when there are hurricanes that destroy entire countries and wildfires that sweep across a state…we know dark.  When church is not your “safe place” any more, we know dark.  And yet, our scripture today says that darkness is not all there is, regardless of how dark it may seem, there is LIGHT.

Darkness is NOT all there is.  There is promise and hope.  There is a new dawn breaking.  It can be found in Christ at work in us, through us, and around us.  Christ is at work…there is THE light…the dawn is here.  Where might you find that dawn?  It can be found in those that love their neighbor…even when the neighbor is unlovable.  The light can be found in feeding the hungry, sheltering those who are without, giving unexpectedly and without recognition…the light can be found in those who stand and show what it really means to love God and to love others, no matter the cost.  Light can be seen in those who find take the time to listen…to really see people…and to give of their talents for others.  To give is to see light.  To love is to be the light.  There is a new dawn breaking and it is found in those that love God.  Is the dawn breaking through and in you?  It is worth looking for…and worth the wait.  God created…and it is good.

I crave routine…there, I have written it.  It is out and I can’t help it.  If you asked me, I would probably tell you that I enjoy adventure and the excitement of spontaneity, never mentioning my desire for the routine and mundane.  But, when I am on vacation and out of the normal schedule of my life, I realize that my body and mind need the routine.

I would think that getting up whenever I wanted and taking my time to get started…not having a schedule of work or a day fully booked…not worrying about making my lunch or where I am to be…all of this would be welcome in an overloaded life.  For me, it’s simply not true.  It still comes back to the fact that I need and crave routine.  I can’t help it and I can’t deny it.

I miss getting up at the same time every day, working out according to a schedule, having the same breakfast, knowing the structure of my day, and wrapping my mind around it all.  I have also learned that I struggle to write when I am off my normal routine.  I had BIG plans for this vacation.  I was going to get up earlier than everyone else, which is my usual, and write every single day.  I managed to actually pull this off 2 of 5 days.  The words just don’t flow easily like I thought.  I, apparently, need and crave routine.

What I have also learned is that vacation gives me two new perspectives.  I realize that I need the reset in my life.  That’s what vacation is for me…a reset.  The other day, one of our devices at home wasn’t working.  I couldn’t get it to turn on or turn off.  What did I do?  I hit the reset button.  The same concept as the CTRL-ALT-DEL function.  And, it worked.  The reset button readjusted the settings and the device worked again.  For me, vacation is my reset button.  It allows me to get out of the rush of the 7 day work week.  It helps me to stop and rest and breathe.  I don’t eat the same things or constantly check my schedule.  I let other people decide where we go and what we do without a plan.  It is difficult but it allows me to stop for a moment and reset.

I have also learned that I am truly grateful for my life.  I am grateful for the early morning exercise, the joy of the smell and taste of fresh brewed coffee, the nutritional food prepared by my wonderful wife, the rhythm of work and church, and the blessing of watching my beautiful children grow.  I am grateful for family and friends that love and support each other.  I am grateful for each new day in all of its glory and all of its struggles.  I am grateful.

In the end, this week has been an important reset in my life.  I look forward to returning to routine.  And, I look forward to what God has in store.