Control – Day 35

This weather has taught me many things.  But the primary one is control – or lack thereof.  We have not had a winter storm quite like this and it doesn’t seem to be giving up any time soon.  Things melt just in time for the next round.  For those who live in areas where this is normal, this would be nothing.  But for us in Eastern NC, this is a lot – like a whole lot.  It is challenging to know what to do and when. 

I spent 30 minutes getting out of my driveway yesterday so that I could slide down the road to my business.  All I could think was – I am not built for this.  After much frustration and anger which did not help anything, I made it.  Only to have the same discussion day after day, when do we open, how safe are the roads and when do we close?  What’s safe?  What’s the best for our employees?  What’s good for our business?

The questions can drive us insane if we let them (and I may have let them).  But I finally realized this is all outside of my control.  I cannot make the weather change – it would be sunny and 75 if I could.  I cannot do anything about the conditions of the roads – though I am so very grateful for those who work tirelessly to make them better.  I cannot do anything about most of the things which cause me stress.  What I can control is my reaction and my attitude.

So I am trying diligently to let go of the things which I cannot control.  All I can do is my best and to remember God is still with me through all the mess.  I can pray for safety and make the best decisions I can with the information given.  But most of all, I can learn to turn to the one who is in control – and that isn’t me.  God may not tell me when to open, but he can give me a peace about the decisions we have to make.  He may not clear the path, but he can give me wisdom to know when to push through and when to rest.  

Ultimately God is in control, not me.  My trust has to be in him.  Anything else is futile.  I’m not saying I’ll stop stressing.  But I will say I will stop and evaluate if this is something I can control.  If not, why do I worry so much?  Control my attitude and my reactions – that’s the goal for today.